This month's sports news.

JWS MOTORSPORT

The 28th April saw Hua Hin become a film set in many parts of the town with the arrival of Monofilm creating their latest movie ‘The Tiger Blade' starring Atsadawut Leunegsuntorn, Phimonrat Phisarayabud and Pongput Wachilabunjong. The film is about a young maverick cop, Yosthana, with magical powers who is put on a highly volatile case to capture the brutal and deadly Five Bullets Bandit, with action, sorcery and comedy the film is set to be a huge success.

In the early hours of the morning the set was located at the tunnel on the Petchkasem Road where an exciting kart chase ensued, it then moved further into town where crowds gathered to witness the actors working hard to create action packed scenes. In the early afternoon the filmcrew with their convoy of support vehicles took over JWS Motorsport kart circuit where Atsadawut described the atmosphere as perfect as they continued to create action with swords flying and karts sliding until nearly midnight.

The film is now over 50% complete and is scheduled to be released later in the year. If you would like to find out more about the film you can visit www.mono-film.com/tiger.htm.

More about JWS Motorsport can be read here: http://www.huahinafterdark.com/hua-hin-karting.htm

Pool League

The season has all but ended now, with only the Final of the Top 16 individual players to be played,

on 25th May. The final day of the regular league was dramatic with the Division 1 title being decided on that day. In the end the long time leaders, London Bar, who had been slipping in recent weeks came back strongly and snatched the title from Club 99, P & P and Octopussy. Club 99 reached the playoffs however. In Division 2 the Champions U-Turn were joined in the playoffs by Nid's Place. The playoffs were notable in that they were won by one of the new teams that joined the league this season - Nid's Place were crowned overall League Champions, beating Club 99 in the Final. In the Cup, another new team (although they had been in the League a couple of seasons ago) were the winners – Octopussy beat P & P in that Final. The Shield final had not taken place at the time of writing, but was being contested between Club 99 and U-Turn. In the Top 16 playoffs, some of the players were not available and their places were taken by those just outside the top 16. Results from these will be printed in next months magazine, along with a report and photos from the presentation dinner scheduled to take place on Friday 3 rd June.

Next season will see a major change in the operation of the league, with a newly elected committee taking over the running and decision making process. It will be an 8-ball league and is likely to start in mid-June. It is also likely that there will be 3 divisions next season, with places determined by this seasons finish.

Please contact Magnus

(mobile: 06-709-6336 or email:

magnusthai@hotmail.com) or Steve

(mobile: 01-649-8361 or email:

steviewanderlust@hotpop.com) if you have any questions or would like to take part.

DARTS NEWS

The new season got underway The new season got underway during April/May, and at the end of week 3 it's very close at the top of the table. Road Hole have a 100% record while the unfortunate Bamboo Road have lost all three of their games by 4-6 despite Osmo achieving the only 180 so far. No individual player rankings yet at this early stage of the season

TEAM PL W D L PF PA PTS

1 ROADHOLE 2 2 0 0 12 8 4

2 JOHNNIE WALKER 3 2 0 1 16 14 4

2 JAEWS BAR 3 1 1 0 16 14 4

4 BILLYS BAR 2 1 1 0 13 7 3

5 JUNGLE JUICE 1 0 1 0 5 5 1

6 EXALON 3 0 1 2 11 19 1

7 BAMBOO ROAD 3 0 0 3 12 18 0

AN AMERICAN BASEBALLER'S CROOKED CRICKET WICKET

Cricket! Eeeh Yuuck!! Quick turn the page! Now wait a minute all you basketball fans, football fans and fans of any other “ball” sports please don't turn the page and give up yet. How ‘bout coming along with me on a first time experience into the cryptic world of cricket, at least from the perspective of a California baseballer.

You'd figure sports that have a ball and a bat aren't going to be that different. Sure? Figure again! No worries this will be a cricket in lay-man's terms short and sweet, consider that it sometimes takes four or five days for two teams to finish a game. “Game”, whoa is that the correct cricket term? Who knows? After five days of “overs and unders, ups and downs, slips and slides I really don't have a clue to what all the terminology and language was about. They use prepositions (ups, over, unders) for nouns, verbs, adjectives, you name it (it's enough to make a TOEFL English teacher go cross-eyed). So if I use a word like googly (believe me it's a real word. Who in the heck could have thought that one up and then spell it?) Forget it. I don't really know what it means, but it sure sounds good.

In late March while celebrating a gorgeous young woman's birthday at the Jungle Juice I overheard that one of the best golf club makers in Asia, Mick Wittering, who is a star spin bowler for the Hua Hin Hopalongs was off to England for his Dad's 80 th birthday (HHHH (Happy Happy Hua Hin) birthday for Pops). I seized the moment and a beer and went to talk to the team's manager Colin (not-so-funky) Devonshire . That beer (and eventually many more) and a fistful of cash and I was a proud member of the team that was entered in an annual cricket tournament just a few weeks away. A dream was about to be fulfilled, after almost 35 years, I was going to finally play cricket.

Let's try to get some of the basics of this sport down. Forget the terminology and all the funny words that they use because I'll be generally making my own up as we go (it's much easier that way). Nobody can understand this game if you let the real players try to explain it to you.

Usually cricket is played with 11 people on each side and it can last up to four or five days. Stop! Don't turn the page you Michael Jordan and Beckham fans. (Think quick buddy you're losing them). Hey this is cricket Sixes, completely different than cricket with 11 players and yet almost exactly the same (now you are going to lose them for sure, faster). GAMES ONLY LAST 50 MINUTES! (You still with me?) That's the pleasure of this sixes thing, you can stop by and check it out and in about an hour another bunch of six, who knows who, from who knows where, will run out on the grass and start chucking and smackin' the ball around and create a whole new bunch of semi-incomprehensible action upon another group of about half a dozen folks who are lounging around under some cool and shady tents with friends and observers.

There are officials? referees?, finger pointers with funny hats (heck everybody's got one, the first thing I did when I found out I was going to play was go out and buy a funny hat), white starched long sleeve shirts and ties, that preside over these contests to insure that all were participating accordingly. As I observed they did a better than excellent job. At times I got the feeling that they alone may have been the only ones who really knew what was going on out there.

The game itself is pretty simple. One team sends six people out onto the grass and the other team takes two of their more unfortunate members and covers their entire bodies with all kinds of padding and a helmet with a wire cage on it (sort of like the Michelin Man with a bird cage on his head) and gives them big bats (think of a meter long fence board that is pregnant on one side with a handle big enough for a gorilla) to hold while covered in gloves that look as if they could stay warm in them down to minus 80 degrees. When everybody gets out to their positions the guy who has the ball starts to run around like Don Quixote chasing windmills and somewhere in the middle of all this arm swinging he lets loose with the ball and tries to bounce it into one of these padded fellows standing 60 feet away in front of a bunch of sticks stuck in the ground. Well you can only imagine the rest of it. The guy with the bat tries to whack it before he becomes the wackee. Smack it or smackee, usually everyone starts to run around and back and forth until it looks like a fox in a chicken coop. Eventually it becomes peaceful again. Quixote, Panza et al start it all over again. The team chucking the ball does this 30 times, five of the six players whippin' and wingdingin' it at the Michelin Man with the pregnant wooden samurai sword a half of dozen times each. After they are finished it is time to turn the tables and let the other side have their 30 shots. Unlike golf the team with the highest number at the end is the winner (don't ask how they score, you'd hear about “wides” (noun), “know balls” (as opposed to unknown balls?) but be assured that the heart and soul of this event, Rhonda Vincent, who has been at these events every minute of the last 10 years, has it all sorted out. I would now like to try to explain what wicket means … ha ha ha, just a joke. It might take a week to attempt that one. Leave it to be said that a wicket can mean at least one of a half dozen different things, places, people, or whatever, but I can guarantee (a brash statement when talking cricket terminology) I've never heard it used as a verb.

OK here we go on the first day of the Hua Hin Cricket Sixes. All you page-turners if you ain't got the guts … RUNAWAY.

DAY 1- Day 1 for the players started in the Polo Lounge at the 5 star Dusit Resort on Tuesday April 5 th at 7.00 pm. The Dusit Resort has been hosting this event for ten years, this year participants would be traveling to Hua Hin from every continent on the globe (not covered in ice) except the Americas . Possibly the Hua Hin Hopalongs may have scared away some of the West Indian greats but hopefully in the future they can work to step up their level of play and see if they can stand the challenge and compete. Welcome. As always, the moment you enter the spacious Dusit Resort you know you are at a world-class destination. To say that the sixes event met just that standard might even be an understatement.

After cocktails and listening to a nice three piece jazz band at the lounge everyone gravitated, at their own pace (let's see, 11 teams, at least 8 players to a team, wives and husbands (oh you betcha! There's a woman who is a great wicket keeper that has been playing on the Hong Kong team for years), kids, friends and media. Quite a grand crowd of folks), outside for dinner next to the refreshing Gulf of Siam . Ice sculptures were copiously dripping during a lovely evening of about 82 degrees F (28C). The tables were set a wickets distance from the beach, the lighting was gorgeous along with the sound of the sea and with the moon and stars shining above, what could be more beautiful? The food!! Food! Please stop me now! There were a couple of different presentations of lobster, many different types of prawns served about a dozen different ways, clams, oysters on the half shell, scallops … let's forget the appetizers and go to the main courses, no, wait, yes, not .. how about the dozens upon dozens of different desserts, whole young coconuts filled with spiced tapioca, lemon meringue pie, Thai desserts, cheesecakes, custards, fruit tarts … cricket? Wicket? Where am I? Is this “ Alice through The Looking Glass” and am I playing cricket with a flamingo instead of a bat? Not tonight baby! I've been drinking nothing but soda water for three days straight, tonight included, getting ready for this Goofoogeley sport of cricket. Johnny Walker, the real one here in Hua Hin, a fellow Hopalong, not the guy on the bottle, and I, voted the potato au gratin as our favourite dish of the buffet. Who could really say, there were mounds of one foot long grilled prawns still on the serving tables as everyone was finishing their tenth dessert … well … maybe not everyone … well … maybe just me. With many howdys and hidys and a Sawasdee Khap we eventually returned to town and continued with early morning (remember guys from England and Australia play this sport) socializing at “official” team functions.

DAY 2 – was welcomed in an appropriate manner and was observed for many hours. The morning sun was not quick enough to catch too many teams' members still awake.

DAY 2 – Wednesday Ah Hah! Cricket! Come and get it!! Blah Blah lose Blah Blah. After our game we spent the remainder of the day and evening “preparing” for more competition.

DAY 3 – No cricket. Bye day for the Hopalongs. A round or two of golf for the young and restless. No preparing at team functions. Sweeeet relief after two days of preparedness.

DAY – 4 Two games blah blah blah win blah blah lose blah blah, where does it hurt the worst Charlie? Blah blah blah. Sweeet Relie … ring ring. 11.00 pm mobile phone call from team social organizer, Johnny Walker, “Tom where in … are you?” (Can you say “bloody hell” in Thailand ?), “Just laid out in bed Johnny”, “What the … do you mean by that?” “Get your … (shouldn't ever say this, at least before midnight) in here now!” (Johnny Walker's Pub, official team recruiting grounds, training centre and strategic headquarters. (THAT'S JOHNNY WALKER'S PUB) great Sunday roasts – down this alley, off that road back sort of behind the temple, kind of, but not really, you can't miss it.) I told you I'd take care of you Johnny) “Somewhere between bliss and oblivion” I think those were the words I used to try to explain to manager Colin (still not funky) Devonshire, where I was when Johnny called earlier. Someone remembered that the masters golf tourney was on the tube in a short while. Fortunately civilized society believes that even social and “strategic preparedness” clubs and pubs must shut their doors and we melted away into the morning. Rain at the Masters.

DAY – 5 Cricket blah blah blah same lose blah blah blah. Socialising, I mean “preparing”. Saturday at the masters starts at 2.30 am on Day 6. Now we're talking about edge of your seat real action sports. Tiger's on the 8 th tee and he looks like he's got the old magic surrounding him. What is this? 6.00 am local Thai TV drops Tiger like old Tom Yam Gung and returns to local farm reports. Jasmine rice is going … wait! What? Jump in the Rod and cruise out to the only place in or about town that has satellite, the Masters and breakfast this early, good old Palm Hills Golf Club (thanks for the mower and the haircut on the pitch for the finals). Perfect! Now the Masters is on again, I have a cup of tea, kaow tom gai (chicken soup) is coming and I'm set. Now What??? They say it's too dark, everybody has stopped playing and it's going to be a 27-hole finish in the US on Sunday. Hey my chicken soup ain't had a chance to get hot yet, let alone go on and get cold. Well the night of Day 5 is now the morning of Day 6 and with only 5 hours of golf on TV so far and no more for a long time coming, what's a poor boy to do? Cricket!! There's a game at 10.00am I'll head home jump into the sea (water temp 84 degrees F) swim about and do my stretching exercises (I'm closer to 50 than 60 so I might as well admit I have to still try to exercise) and then suit up and head off to the Dusit and catch the first game of the finals before our noon contest. Good soup.

DAY – 6 It's still Day 6 or 5? What happened to the sleep part and all that sweeet relief? Oh yeah cricket blah blah blah same blah blah finished for us. Ha I gotcha. You thought this was going to be as cutting edge expose into the world of cricket. Heck all I was trying to do was throw in a bit (“bit” is a California word for “semi not much”) of humour to get y'all interested in this great and glorious and goofy (googeley?) game.

We played for five days from 10 am until late afternoon (Remember Colin (funky) Miller, in cricket, after you return for breakfast at 7.30 am it's off to the pitch not the pillow. See even world class cricket super stars like Colin from Australia have a bit of a problem with the cricket terminology when the first two letters of the word are the same) and everything proceeded in a very orderly and comfortable manner. Everyone who participated or watched this year, would have to agree that the sixes lived up to it's reputation, which is to have a good time and that's exactly what we all did, we enjoyed nothing but good pure fun. Next year come on out and see what it's all about. Heck if you've seen the elephants play polo in Hua Hin you owe it to yourself to check out this sport. It will at least show you how graceful those pachyderms truly are.

I think now is the time I am supposed to tell you I had five birdies, two home runs, an eagle and scored two goals. Please don't try to ask me what happened or why or when. Yes, we are infamous HHH-a-longs lived up to our name, probably with my help more than not (Thanks Jimmy for being there when we needed you). It all seems a bit of a blur now for more reasons than I can surely remember. Here's my take on our games. The ball is red, I hit it, it hit me, I missed it, it missed me, some hit it, it hit some, some missed it, it missed some, it was missed and it was hit, that's IT. Maybe this confounded game ought to be called crickIT.

Let me finish this reflection (short and sweet) with something I feel is very important. Food! Yes it's the awards dinner on Sunday evening, outdoors again in the beautiful gardens of the Dusit. I do believe the desserts may have been even better than the first night, it that's possible. Dinner was aloi mahk mahk (that's “darn tootin' tasty” in Thai). John Gill, resident manager of the Dusit, and Tom Karnasuta have been organizing this event for ten years. John has moved on to Phuket and has transferred his duties to Simon Burgess who will take over and guide this world-class event through the coming years. After dinner all of them spoke, as did all the team managers as they introduced their companions. It seems as if everyone conveyed the same feelings of camaraderie along with the pleasant and enjoyable interchanges between players, officials, organizers and spectators. One manager said it extremely well. With all the fantastic aspects of the social interactions and the utterly exotic setting for this event, when every team set foot on the pitch to compete, they produced the best cricket that they were able to play, at the highest level of their ability. We had players, men and a woman, actually some were here as young kids when this event started and now they are competing, some have seen the magic 60 come and go and there is always a former superstar from this sport or some other professional sport that come out and tries to give it their best. There are no quitters in this game (heck sometimes you are playing the same dang game for five days). Wait don't turn it yet! What about the winner!

The winner? I can't remember, either from South Africa or England or at least from one of those two continents anyway. What about the complainers? One manager almost tried to complain (not really) about receiving a trophy and they didn't win a single game, but in the same breath he said, “ I guess this is why you have to love cricket sixes” (Oh yeah, sixes was invented by a guy in Thailand). What about special awards? Well one lad, about 25 years old from England, had the distinction of being the only person in five days to show the emotion of anger (actually about 90% frustration) after being bowled out in the last game of the finals and he threw his bat about 10 feet. Wow! After five days and 22 hours everybody, players and spectators (think this could be YOU) alike were up and at it, whistling, hooting and putting forth loud hahrumph hahrumphs as he sheepishly picked up his bat and retreated to his team's tent. Gary Chatfield, the president of Siam Cricket Club, was sharp enough to make it to a local “trophy store” so he could acknowledge and immortalize his actions (lads this is what it takes to become president, along with ability to smack that red ball a country mile). The young man received his award from Gary at the dinner in good humour and possibly might have looked just as sheepish as he did earlier, if the lovely, fully functional, plastic baby bottle wasn't filled with Singha Beer. Gary , I'm not supposed to say anything about you being on the Hopalong team.

Well that's it folks, cricket is over in Hua Hin for another year. Last year I was a spectator this year a full-fledged Hopalot. I have played almost every sport that has a ball in it, some at a very competitive level. I have to admit I felt extremely proud to be associated with the Dusit and their presentation of the sport of cricket because I believe the character and the nature of the people and this sport, have raised the bar for me in regards to style, etiquette and participation in a team sport. The Dusit, as always, was “world class” (Choke Dee (Good Luck) with the Miss Universe Pageant in Bangkok ), and everybody else who was involved this week was a wicket above first class.

I'll be back. So next year, about this time, if you are driving out by the airport and see what looks like an alien crop circle in the middle of the Dusit Polo Field and you see a bunch of older and semi-older types jumping, limpin', and hoppin' a long. It's probably us, and it's probably the real thing, because I don't think “practice” is part of the terminology in crickIT for the HHH-a-I's.

Next year – 2006 –“Seasoned Vet Get's Down To The Nitty Gritty”.

Written by Tom ABCXYYZ

Wait! Don't turn the page yet it's still day 6 well really 7, I've abandoned what is left of the team at Johnny's at 3 am and decided to watch the end of the Masters on my recliner at home. Tiger has been unbelievable, yet as I start to drift in and out of sleep it still is close . . . I awaken to see Tiger miss a putt on 18 and so does that other guy, whatever his name is. So now it's sudden death play-off time. “Khaoh Jasmine bpie … (Price of jasmine rice is up due to …) What!?!? It's 6.15 am No! No! Not the farm report again? No!! It's the Masters. I've been up two days straight waiting to see just these few minutes …

Somewhere Between Bliss and Oblivion my head hits the pillow. I guess I'll read how it all ended tomorrow in the Bangkok Post.

Colin ‘Funky' Miller joins the 11th Hua Hin Cricket Sixes

The Dusit Resort Hua Hin was once again proud to host the 11th Annual Hua Hin Cricket Sixes which took place between the 6 – 10th April 2005. This year's competition attracted teams from Australia , Hong Kong , South Africa and the UK .

The Melbourne Cricket Club (MCC) fielded two sides in the competition.

Colin ‘Funky' Miller, the ex- Australian international cricketer made a guest appearance playing for the Dusit All-Star team. Both Colin and Bob Lloyd, Vice President of the MCC assisted with the prize giving at the Gala Dinner finale.

Elsternwick Cricket Club from Melbourne won the Cup Division Final beating their local rivals Canterbury Cricket Club, also from Melbourne . In the Plate Division Final the Hong Kong Police team emerged as the victors. Player of the Tournament went to the newcomer – Mr Keegan de Ridder.

For further information please call Simon Burgess on +66 (0) 3244 2100 or email

simon@dusit.com

JUNE SCHEDULE

June 12 th Canada , Montreal

(Winner 2004, M. Schumacher)

June 19 th USA , Indianapolis

(Winner 2004, M. Schumacher)

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