Regular features from September 2005 117th Issue

A Fresh Opportunity

We are all looking for a safe haven and a lucrative one for our investments. For me MAN is a company who regularly satisfy these needs Regular readers of this column will know that I have advocated their products for many years. Their new limited time frame product launch fulfills these conditions once again and the following is why I think so.

It is really important to have downside protection in times of market volatility and one of the products that does that best is the (“MAN IP 220). Of course if the upside is not much better than the dismal returns received from bank deposit accounts, why would you be daft enough to move your money? Experienced investors know why. The only investors I recommend to leave their money in the bank are those who need their capital next year. Investors who want to increase capital and take an income must realize that in a low interest period that is impossible.

Let's look at the previous returns from this product.

IP220 was launched in December 1996 and since then has generated a total return of 239.8% from inception to 31 st .May 2005, significantly outperforming world stocks and bond markets.

Man-IP220 (made up of a combination of AHL and Glenwood) has also performed in a range of market conditions. However as the chart below shows, the product truly demonstrated its diversification benefits during the correction in global stock markets which began in 2000.

The IP-220 strategy tends to perform best when markets have a clear direction and can thus provide excess returns when indices are falling. An allocation to multi –strategy fund of hedge funds, with a history of delivering robust returns with low volatility, has enhanced the stability of the portfolio.

Investors have from now until 3 rd .October to access the portfolio through new USD and EUR bond classes. These come with a capital guarantee from J.P.Morgan Chase bank. (

and a target investment exposure of 160% of the net asset value, The EUR bonds however will start at 140% rising to 160% as trading profits accrue.

The product has an additional benefit of a profit lock in feature which at the discretion of the manager and the permission of the guarantor bank, can be used to lock in a portion of the products return and thereby enlarge the final guaranteed payout.

The new bonds will effectively allocate 100% of net asset value to the AHL diversified programme. This trades a diversified portfolio of more than 130 highly liquid global futures and foreign exchange markets on more than 30 exchanges. It utilizes a technical approach to identify and profit from trends within financial markets. The markets traded include stock indices, bonds, currencies, short term interest rates and selected commodities including energy and metal contracts.

Its disciplined approach to such a wide range of markets underpinned by sophisticated research and a highly tuned trading infrastructure, has allowed the programme to generate substantial returns over the medium to long term. As at the 31 st .May this year the programme has returned an annualized 17.6% since inception on 20 Dec. 1990.

Within the enhanced level of investment exposure an additional 60% of the net asset value will be allocated to the Glenwood Portfolio.

Glenwood employs an investment selection process that it has refined over more than18 years to construct well diversified hedge fund portfolios that target low risk returns.

This is reflected in the performance of the Glenwood Portfolio which returned an annualized 10.0% from inception on 1 st January 1987 to 31 st .May 2005.

The combination of these two styles with a low correlation between the two, has allowed the Man-IP220 portfolio to generate substantial growth over more than eight years.

To access this guaranteed product with a profit lock in feature you need US$/EUR 50,000

and the ability to act before 3rd .October. At the very lease it's worth consideration.

For more information contact Jerry at

jerry@swissinvestcenter.net

Mag's Page: The UK Perspective

Some Farang can quite happily manage to use buses in Bangkok . I am not one of them. It's not that I have anything against buses per se. Far from it. They are a cheap and fairly reliable method of getting from A to B. It's just that in Bangkok you first need to know how to say the A and B in Thai, and the thought of being stranded in Z can be quite daunting.

One day many years ago I took a return trip from Pattaya to the River Kwai, but needed to be dropped off in Bangkok on the way back for a fl ight home the next day. The minibus guide very kindly ensured that I was duly deposited on the edge of a Bangkok ring road, which seemed to resemble the M25, and even risked life and limb to fl ag down a Meter Taxi to take me into town. Unfortunately it was late afternoon on New Years Eve. By nightfall my taxi was approaching the docks area, and I was frantically re-arranging my luggage ready for the inevitable swift exit from the cab at the next opportunity.

At that time my command of the Thai language wouldn't even allow for a toilet stop request, let alone ‘stop this… taxi immediately' so it was quite a relief when we suddenly emerged into the bright lights of Rama IV. It turned out to be quite a relief for the driver too, who had simply been trying to avoid traffi c jams. At least in England most bus and taxi drivers speak fluent English ( London excepted of course.) Or at least they should do if you take the time to ask them where they are going. One day recently I had to change buses in Z, on my way from A to B, and ended up back in A. The fact that in this case Z was Scunthorpe didn't help. Nor did the fact that I had to be at work in B in an hours time.

The whole debacle ended in a long and expensive taxi trip, this time with a native English-speaking driver who had a major problem with ‘his' sexual orientation. Most of the journey was spent discussing the pros, cons and cost of him having his most tender parts removed in Thailand , and his failed attempt at a DIY job. By the time I was deposited outside my place of work in B the whole world seemed a much nicer place thanks to the openness of such a genuinely nice person. As British Telecom used to say ‘it's good to talk' - even at taxi fare prices.

And now for something completely different. Christmas.

Yes the nine-letter word is here again, and how lucky you folks are in the Land of Smiles . You can avoid all the hype and build up, and safely leave preparations and shopping until 24th December. The only concern really is getting those pesky cards ready by the required posting date. Even then, if you forget you have a tailor made excuse - ‘Sorry, they must have got lost in the post'.

Of course preparations DO go on quietly behind the scenes for months by those poor souls whose whole livelihood depends on just one day a year. Farmer Joe will be busy nurturing his turkeys, and there must be quite a few folks fretting over their poinsettias. Otherwise it's pretty much just another day.

Not in England . Already some shops are stocking up on Christmas tree baubles - just what every shopper is looking for in mid August. Even in July there were signs of Christmassy things in the craft shops, for people who like to make their own cards and therefore need an early start.

Anyone with any sense at all in the UK should be devoting their valuable shopping time to the search for woolly jumpers for winter. Apparently we have a supply crisis in the jumper department caused by a last minute change in Government policy concerning trade with China . Millions of woollies are bobbing about on container ships with nowhere to go, while the European suppliers, now preferred by our glorious leaders, are unable to cope with the huge extra demand for their goods.

So if any readers want to make a fast buck or two forget the designer T-shirts - England Needs Woollies

Ticket - Classic Songs – Stairway To Heaven

Recorded in December 1970 by the British rock group Led Zeppelin, this song was never originally released as a single but appeared on the album known as Led Zeppelin IV or Four Symbols (although the album isn't actually named). Running at eight minutes and three seconds the lyrics were written by lead singer Robert Plant, while guitarist Jimmy Page wrote most of the music. John Bonham was the drummer and John Paul Jones, normally the bass player, decided not to use a bass on this because it sounded like a folk song. Instead, he added a string section, keyboards and flutes. He also played wooden recorders that were used on the intro. Bonham's drums do not come in until halfway through the song. It has been an inspiration both musically and lyrically to many other artists, most notably Queen, who would use a similar musical structure for their opus "Bohemian Rhapsody". It is one of the most famous rock songs of all time and has been recorded by several other artists, but it's iconic status and unique structure has meant very few ‘straight' cover versions, but there have been many novelty versions. The most notable straight covers are probably the one by the Far Corporation which was a top ten hit in the UK , and that by rock group Great White. In 2002 Dolly Parton, of all people, recorded a country version for her album ‘Halos And Horns' and apparently it is one of Plant's favourite versions! However it is said that Plant's favoured cover version is a novelty song featuring the music and arrangement of the song combined with the lyrics to the Theme from Gilligan's Island (which has a similar chord progression) recorded by the San Francisco band Little Roger and the Goosebumps and often featured on the Dr. Demento radio program.

The acoustic intro was borrowed from the instrumental song "Taurus" by the band Spirit, recorded in 1968, who toured with Led Zeppelin when they first played the US . The band Spirit has acknowledged this, and had no problem with it. The guitar solo was never actually played that way in the studio. It was pieced together out of several different takes by Jimmy Page, who then learned the solo after the fact to be able to perform it live. If you listen closely on the album, you can hear the "punch-ins," places where the recording engineer, Eddie Kramer, edited the tracks. The tendency for many aspiring guitar players to learn to play the introduction to the song was spoofed in the 1992 Mike Myers movie Wayne 's World, when a "No Stairway to Heaven" regulation is enforced at a music store visited by the title character. In the movie, Wayne clearly plays the first few notes before being scolded, but due to legal issues, the video version was changed so Wayne plays something incomprehensible.

The song was first played live at Belfast 's Ulster Hall on March 5 , 1971 ; it was performed at every Led Zeppelin concert thereafter, usually as part of a final encore from 1975 to 1980 . "Stairway" was also played at Live Aid in 1985 and the 40th anniversary celebration of Atlantic Records in 1988 , and by Jimmy Page as an instrumental version on his solo tours. "Stairway to Heaven" is one of the biggest-selling sheet music publications in rock history. Since 1971 , "Stairway to Heaven" has sold more than 1.2 million copies.

Robert and Jimmy wrote this in an old mansion called Headley Grange in Worcestershire , England , where they recorded most of their 4th album. It was a huge, old, dusty mansion with no electricity but great acoustics. Bands would go there to get some privacy and focus on songwriting. One night, in front of a roaring fire, Page strummed the chords to this for Robert. Plant wrote 90% of the lyrics right there in front of the fire. He has said in many interviews that he didn't seem to be writing, that something else was moving his pencil for him. Plant is a great admirer of all things mystic, the old English legends and lore and the writings of the Celts. He was immersed in The Lord Of The Rings around this time and many of his lyrics reflect that. A seminal influence on ‘Stairway' was the book Magic Arts in Celtic Britain by Lewis Spence, which Plant had recently read; it contained references to May Queens , pipers, and bustling hedgerows. The mystical lady is still a mystery but when asked about it Plant simply responded, "Julie Conlon".

The song is essentially inspired by Plant's own search for spiritual perfection, and is a relatively simple song in it's meaning - it is about a woman who accumulates money, but finds out the hard way that this does not give her life any meaning, and that it will not get her into heaven. However because of all the mystical references many people have interpreted much more into the song, and because of the title and subject matter, it was almost inevitable that people looked for and found darker meanings. The piper referred to is thought to be from the legend where a town overrun by rats calls in this piper who can play and lead the rats away from the town, which he does, but is then never paid for his services, so he then plays again and leads all the town's children into the woods and they are never seen again. It is generally thought that in the legend the piper is actually Satan, and this, along with the fact that Page had previously bought a house in Scotland belonging to renowned Satanist Aleister Crowley, and Page's self confessed interest in the occult led to accusations that the band were Satanists, and that there were hidden Satanic messages in the song. Specifically it has been said many times that the verse beginning with the line ‘If there's a bustle in your hedgerow' if played backwards will give you the following;

‘Oh here's to my sweet Satan. The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan. He'll give you give you 666, there was a little toolshed where he made us suffer, sad Satan'. There is supposedly another backwards message at the very end of the song, saying ‘play backwards...hear words sung'. The fact that the house bought by Page had become a well known Satanic church and was known as "The Toolhouse" just added to this idea, as well as the fact that in his books, Crowley advocated that his followers learn to read and speak backwards. The line in the song, ‘ 'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings' is also used to show that the band intentionally did this. The band have been asked numerous times about this, and here is what they had to say -

"'Stairway To Heaven' was written with every best intention, and as far as reversing tapes and putting messages on the end, that's not my idea of making music. It's really sad. The first time I heard it was early in the morning when I was living at home, and I heard it on a news program. I was absolutely drained all day. I walked around, and I couldn't actually believe, I couldn't take people seriously who could come up with sketches like that. There are a lot of people who are making money there, and if that's the way they need to do it, then do it without my lyrics. I cherish them far too much." – Robert Plant

"...negativity of any kind is best ignored. Even asking that question encourages this kind of negative speculation. How could anyone sing backwards? It's complete bunkum--it can't be done. Only Americans would come up with something that ridiculous. [...] Why don't people take up swimming or squash if they're bored?" - Robert Plant

"I mean, who on earth would have ever thought of doing that in the first place? You've got to have a lot of time on your hands to even consider that people would do that. Especially with 'Stairway To Heaven.' I mean, we were so proud of that thing, and its intentions are so positive... I found it foul, the whole idea...but it's very American. Nowhere else in the world has anybody ever considered it, or been concerned or bothered at all about that. I figure if backward masking really worked, every album in the store would have 'Buy this album!' hidden on it." - Robert Plant

"Of course it's fatal, you know, because you tend to wind these people up after a while. If you go around saying, 'Oh yes, if you play track eight at thirty-six rpm, you'll definitely hear a message,' they'll go right home and try it. English bands tend to be more ironic and sarcastic, and once they discovered the average lack of American irony and humour, it's just sitting ducks, really. You just sort of have to go for it." -John Paul Jones

"You've got it, you've hit the nail on the head. And that's all there is to say about it." -Jimmy Page

The band's record company, Swan Song Records also rubbished these claims with the statement: "Our turntables only play in one direction - forwards".

This controversy might help to explain Plant's attitude to the song – while Jimmy Page considers this a masterpiece, Plant does not share his fondness for the song. Plant has referred to it as a "wedding song" and insists that his favourite Led Zeppelin song is " Kashmir ." After the band broke up, Plant refused to sing it except on rare occasions, including Live Aid. In solo work or with other groups, Jimmy Page would not let anyone but Robert Plant sing this, but he does play it as an instrumental on occasion. Page felt Plant's lyrics were his best yet. He had him write all of Zeppelin's lyrics from then on. This was the only song whose lyrics were printed on the album's inner sleeve. Jimmy Page said that, " To me, I thought 'Stairway' crystallised the essence of the band. It had everything there and showed the band at its best ... as a band, as a unit. Not talking about solos or anything, it had everything there. We were careful never to release it as a single. It was a milestone for us. Every musician wants do to something of lasting quality, something that will hold up for a long time and I guess we did it with 'Stairway'. Townsend probably thought that he got it with Tommy. I don't know whether I have the ability to come up with more. I have to do a lot of hard work before I can get anywhere near those stages of consistent, total brilliance ".

Other theories about the songs meaning are that it is about a woman who is addicted to drugs and that it is not too late to rehabilitate, so that in the beginning of the song the heaven she is trying to buy is the ultimate drugs high, but in the end it is the idea of being drug free; another is that it is about the Charles Manson murders, and specifically Susan Atkins, who stabbed Sharon Tate to death in August 1969. Manson taught his followers that to kill was to give life. She was looking for her stairway to heaven. Atkins wrote a message in blood on the wall, suggesting to the police that black Americans had carried out the murder – this could be the ‘sign on the wall' and ‘words have two meanings' lines. When he was asked for the umpteenth time about the meaning of the song, Robert Plant said, "Well, we were all high on the Moroccan dope at the time, so who knows?”

In the early 1990s, each episode of the Australian chat show The Money or the Gun ended with a different group performing an idiosyncratic cover version of "Stairway to Heaven". From a diverse range that included an Elvis impersonator, Kate Ceberano, and the Doug Anthony All Stars, the best remembered is Rolf Harris's version (complete with didgeridoo and wobble board), which reached the Top 10 on the UK singles charts. Harris is said to have received death threats from fans of the song for his version of this iconic rock anthem. A compilation album, Stairways to Heaven, was put out on the Atlantic label, featuring versions of the song by The Australian Doors Show, The Beatnix, John Paul Young, Kate Ceberano and the Ministry of Fun, Leonard Teale, Etcetera Theatre Company, The Fargone Beauties, Sandra Hahn and Michael Turkic, The Ministry of Fun, Neil Pepper, Pardon Me Boys, Robyne Dunn, The Rock Lobsters, Rolf Harris, The Whipper Snappers, Neil Pepper and Vegimite Reggae. In reply to Rolf Harris' version, Page and Plant performed his song "Sun Arise" at the end of another Denton TV show. The Butthole Surfers, in an act of parody and/or tribute, released an album in 1988 called Hairway to Steven.

Other artists to cover this include U2, Jimmy Castor, Frank Zappa, The Foo Fighters, The Dave Matthews Band, Sisters of Mercy, Nancy Wilson, Zakk Wylde, Elkie Brooks, Pardon Me Boys, White Flag, Jana, Stanley Jordan, Dixie Power Trio, Justin Hayward, Leningrad Cowboys, Dread Zeppelin, Tiny Tim, piano virtuoso Richard Abel, and Monte Montgomery. Neil Sedaka had an unrelated Top-10 hit with the same title in 1960. Former Gospel singer Pat Boone covered it for his album In a Metal Mood. He wanted to see how it would turn out as a Jazz waltz, and it opened and closed with soft flute playing. In a subtle reference to his Christian faith, Boone changed the line "All in one is all and all" to "Three in one is all and all" - a reference to the Christian god, the Trinity.

There is no doubt that the song has, and will continue to, inspire, confuse and delight legions of fans, and that it will still be being played and talked about long after the remaining band members have climbed the stairway themselves (in fact John Bonham died 25 years ago this month). And budding guitarists will continue to learn the opening to the song; this writer is just happy to appreciate a band who are about more than just this song.

There's a lady who's sure

All that glitters is gold

And she's buying a stairway to heaven

When she gets there she knows

If the stores are all closed

With a word she can get what she came for

And she's buying a stairway to heaven

There's a sign on the wall

But she wants to be sure

'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings

In a tree by the brook

There's a songbird who sings

Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven

It makes me wonder

There's a feeling I get

When I look to the west

and my spirit is crying for leaving

In my thoughts I have seen

Rings of smoke through the trees

And the voices of those who stand looking

And it makes me wonder

And it's whispered that soon

If we all call the tune

Then the piper will lead us to reason

And a new day will dawn

For those who stand long

And the forest will echo with laughter

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow

Don't be alarmed now

It's just a spring clean for the May queen

Yes there are two paths you can go by

But in the long run

There's still time to change the road you're on

And it makes me wonder

Your head is humming and it won't go

In case you don't know

The piper's calling you to join him

Dear lady can you hear the wind blow

And did you know

Your stairway lies on the whisperin' wind

And as we wind on down the road

Our shadows taller than our souls

There walks a lady we all know

Who shines white light and wants to show

How everything still turns to gold

And if you listen very hard

The tune will come to you at last

When all are one and one is all

To be a rock and not to roll

And she's buying a stairway to heaven...

Movie/DVD - Hostage

Recently available on DVD to rent, ‘Hostage' stars Bruce Willis and is the first Hollywood movie by French director Florent Siri. The film is a first-rate thriller with Willis as a former hostage negotiator who, after a traumatic experience, has switched to being the police chief of a quiet district on the fringes of LA. There ensues that old standby of petty criminals becoming involved with big-time crooks, and all Willis's ingenuity is needed when three tearaways attempt to rob the fortress home of the mob's chief accountant (Kevin Pollak). The tension never lets up until the feeble final reel, and there are excellent 1930s-style black-and-white Art Deco credit titles, fashioned in France . An interesting aside to this movie is that it also features Willis' daughter Rumer, and the DVD version features some ‘extras' including father Willis speaking about how she got the role, as well as some deleted scenes from the originally released movie.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS

Here's another old photo of a well known Hua Hin resident - once again we want you to email us on huahin@observergroup.net if you think you know who it is, with a cold beer to the first correct response.

Answers to the June and July photos were Billy from Billy's Bar, and Ian from Premier Property Centre. Well done to those of you who spotted them!

Useful Telephone Numbers for Hua Hin

Railway station
032-512 770, 032-511 073

Bus station of Hua Hin
032-511 654, 032-512 543

Bus station of Prachuabkirikhan
032-601 901

Bus station of Pranburi
032-621 443

Hua Hin Hospital
032-520 401

Dog Rescue Center
0-1981 4406

Wild life Rescue Center (Tayang)
032-458 135

Department of Land Cha-am office:
032- 430 846-7

Department of Land Hua Hin office:
032-536 164, 032-512 407

Department of Land Prachuabkirikhan:
032-611 211

Department of Land Pranburi
032-622 199

Local Government (Hua Hin)
032-521 340, 532 471

Local water supply
032-511 677

The Power Board of Hua Hin
032-512 215, 032 513 165

Observer office:
032-531 078

Red Cross.
032-512 567

San Paolo Hospital
032-532 576-85

Polyclinic International
032-516 424, 032-516 425

Shell Cooking Gas
032-511 144, 032- 515 620

The Communication Authority of Thailand
(Hua Hin)
032-511 351

Rotary Club of Hua Hin
0-1916 6637
Meeting every Thursday 8.pm
at Hua Hin Grand Hotel & Plaza

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