This month's sports news.

Premier League September Fixtures

SATURDAY 10 Sept. 2005

Birmingham v Charlton

Chelsea v Sunderland

Everton v Portsmouth

Man Utd v Man City

Middlesbrough v Arsenal

Newcastle v Fulham

Tottenham v Liverpool

West Brom v Wigan

SUNDAY 11 Sept. 2005

Bolton v Blackburn

MONDAY 12 Sept. 2005

West Ham v Aston Villa

SATURDAY 17 Sept. 2005

Aston Villa v Tottenham

Charlton v Chelsea

Fulham v West Ham

Portsmouth v Birmingham

Sunderland v West Brom

SUNDAY 18 Sept. 2005

Blackburn v Newcastle

Liverpool v Man Utd

Man City v Bolton

Wigan v Middlesbrough

MONDAY 19 Sept. 2005

Arsenal v Everton

SATURDAY 24 Sept. 2005

Birmingham v Liverpool

Bolton v Portsmouth

Chelsea v Aston Villa

Everton v Wigan

Man Utd v Blackburn

Newcastle v Man City

West Brom v Charlton

West Ham v Arsenal

SUNDAY 25 Sept. 2005

Middlesbrough v Sunderland

MONDAY 26 Sept. 2005

Tottenham v Fulham

JWS MOTORSPORT

Endurance Race JWS Challenge ‘05

On Sunday 31st July the weather was awful after 3 days of constant rain and the race was touch and go, then suddenly at around 2pm the heavy rain stopped, the cloud stayed and there was an occasional sprinkling shower. As the teams began to arrive their enthusiasm to race was overwhelming. In the absence of reining champions, Somtawin team, this race was open to anyone. With the exception of a few individual drivers every team had new members and two teams were visitors to Hua Hin from Sweden and Finland . The teams included the Marriott Hotel, Johnnie Walkers, Willies Station, Wee Man Swingers (the golfing kind!!), Team Dinga Ling and Khao Tao Team.

Because of the bad weather conditions the practice and qualifying session was combined and it was very comical, while everyone got used to driving on the a wet track the marshals were running in relay to turn karts around after spinning. At the end of the session everyone was wet, filthy and desperate to start the race, the adrenaline was up! The fastest lap time for qualifying was made Khao Tao Team with 55 seconds; under dry conditionings the fastest lap time is normally around 37 seconds. The heavy rain stayed away and excitement unfolded. The lead was taken early on by pole position Khao Tao Team and the lap times improved slightly as the drivers set led into their stints. The standard of d riving was excellent considering the driving was excellent considering the weather conditions which created a whole weather new experience for everyone and with only two black flag penalties and no incident, well done everyone! The winning team was Khao Tao Team and celebrations were held afterwards at Johnnie Walkers with a BBQ and F1 live coverage.

The next race is scheduled for Sunday 28th August, please contact the circuit for further details on 032-547 199.

Hua Hin Pool League

No league games are scheduled for next Wednesday. The first round of the Toby Charnaud Memorial Cup is being held. The next league date is 27th July. Please read the accompanying newsletter for more information.
A change has been made to the method of listing the individual scoring. The list is now firstly ordered by percentage of matches attended. This has been done so that players who have only played in one or two matches can not appear in the list above players who have attended all the matches. This will NOT in any way change the result of the overall winner.

DARTS NEWS

Week 15 Results:

Johnny Walker v Jaew 3-7

Billy's v Bamboo Road 7-3

Road Hole v Jungle Juice 5-5

Billy's bar have completed their league fixtures and can now only sit back and wait to see if Road Hole can win their remaining two fixtures to tie with them in top slot ….. watch this space!!!!

Next week fixtures are:

Jaew v Jungle Juice

Bamboo Road v Dick's Office

Johnny Walker v Road Hole

Hua Hin Hash House Harriers

It is not essential to be old, fat and knackered to join in the run, fun and beer with the H2H3, although we do have one or two in that category. For the most part we are of average ability with some like Kiwi Bruce, Hugo, Angus and Terry from Chiva Som who run like All Black wingers, presumably to get back as soon as possible for the cold beer. Others such as Mudgirl, Buzzer and Sparkplug, aged 8 to 11, can still show a clean pair of heels to some of our older members. So whatever your physical shape, age or ability come along for the exercise and the crack.

Run No 49 on Saturday July 23 was hared by Ballbanger and Dragontail somewhere in the back of beyond between Cha Am and Petchaburi. In spite of the remote location some 25 plus hashers found their way there and completed the course, much to the amusement of the locals guarding their cattle. An excellent evening meal was taken later at the Chicken Coop in Cha Am to round off the days fun.

The H2H3 Jubilee Run No 50 was attended by over 30 hashers on Saturday August 6 commencing at the Cha Am Forest Park just south of the town. This was a gentle run taking in woodland, railway crossings and rice paddy fields. Several hashers, including the Do Van Drunen family from Holland , lost their way blaming the lack of adequate marking on the trail. That lame excuse was not accepted and justice was meted out to the offenders with a beer downdown in the circle after the run. Once again the evening was rounded off courtesy of the Chicken Coop.

Sandwiched between those runs was the first men only run on Monday evening July 18, attended by a magnificent 7 hashers complete with torchlight to locate the trail markings. Although the venue was meant to be a closely guarded secret {men only}, a number of wives and girlfriends were in evidence at the watering hole at the end of the run. There is obviously a mole in the camp or too much pillow talk going on. The next men only run has yet to be arranged for obvious reasons.

Run No 51, which could not be reported on prior to the September Observer going to print is scheduled to be held in the Hua Hin area on Saturday August 20 at 5.00pm and will be hared by Stumbles from Bangkok , who intends to bring along some 30 hashers with him. That event coincides with the 60th birthdays of Ballbanger and Onefor who are at present in Saigon on a visa run and a drilling rig respectively, although they will return for the celebration. One wanders how Ballbanger has managed to convince his wife that visa runs are weekly to all parts of Asia including Bangkok . More on that event in the next issue.

Run NO 52 is scheduled for the Cha Am area on September 3, hared by Sparky, followed by run No 54 on 17 September.

For information about the H2H3 call Slackbladder 07 852 2565, Ballbanger 04 711 105, Doug 01 828 3074, or e-mail partt@hotmail.com , or donaltetley@yahoo.com.

Cricket made easy

There are many people in the world today who simply do not have a clue about the wonderful game of cricket, which for a cricket lover is hard to believe, so the intent of this article is to try to whet the appetite of those poor unfortunates and get them to try it out. So the next time someone asks you what cricket is all about, or makes some disparaging comment about how complicated it seems, kindly recite the following simple explanation;

The Rules of Cricket

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.

When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

Hopefully the above will have made the reader or listener hungry for more, and this is where learning the rules of a more rudimentary version of the game can help, and without question has been played by most cricket lovers in most countries at some time in their life, but particularly as schoolboys. In Australia it is called either ‘Backyard Cricket' or sometimes ‘Beach Cricket', while in the UK it would be referred to commonly as ‘Back Garden Cricket'. For the purposes of this article it will be referred to as ‘Backyard Cricket'. Backyard cricket is to real cricket what Putt Putt Golf is to a links tournament. Most often no score is kept at all, particularly on the beach, but enthusiastic schoolboys have been known to obtain proper cricket scorecards and write in every detail! The beauty of this version of the game is that you only need a minimum of two players and that it can be enjoyed well into adult life; the rules are also very flexible and it is in fact desirable to alter them depending on local conditions! However there are certain rules that are relatively fixed, as follows;

•  Can't Be Out First Ball – normally a standard of the schoolboy game, and particularly if players of different ages are playing (like father and son) to avoid any whining about ‘only getting one ball'! A younger child that benefits from the "first ball rule" but goes out to the second ball also might discover that there is now, by unspoken consensus, a "second ball rule" as well, and if necessary a "third ball rule".

•  Six And Out – this caters for the normally restricted area being played in, and essentially a six is scored whenever the ball is struck without bouncing into designated objects or areas where the ball is difficult to retrieve (such as next door's garden). Any ball that rolls along the ground to these points is however four runs. When the bat follows the ball over the fence, then it is time to slip quietly inside and set up a board game, and maintain you have been playing it for hours and it must have been the kids over the road who sneaked in to have a game...they're always doing that...

•  Automatic Wicketkeeper – obviously if there are only two players this is an essential rule so that if any batsman ‘snicks' or ‘edges' the ball to the area behind the stumps he is assumed to have been caught out by the ‘keeper. In the games I played with my father this was the legendary Kent ‘keeper Godfrey Evans and in later years the equally legendary Alan Knott. Unfortunately this rule has seen the disappearance of the shot known as a ‘late cut' though. Other areas of the garden can also be declared as ‘catch areas' if the ball enters them on the full (such as rose bushes).

•  No LBW – almost every game of backyard cricket is played without any umpire so you cannot be called out for LBW (Leg Before Wicket) which is good news for those who don't understand the rule. Unfortunately this is a bad rule for those who wish to graduate to the full game as it ensures that batsmen shuffle in front of the stumps as if test driving a Zimmer frame.

Other commonly employed rules are:

•  One Hand, One Bounce - This popular innovation (When a fielder can dismiss a batsman by catching the ball in one hand on the first bounce) is essential to the very fabric of the sport. Importantly, it means a game can be organised with a minimum of players. More importantly, it means you don't have to put your beer down (Adult version only).

•  Hit and Run – If the batsman hits the ball he or she must run regardless of the distance or quality of the shot played. This is more commonly employed in the UK version as there is an unwritten rule in the Australian version – ‘The words fun and run don't go together'. This is probably because of the difference in playing conditions and weather between the two countries, and that Aussies are most likely playing in ‘flip-flops', or as they like to call them ‘thongs'.

•  Can't Go From Bat To Bowl - obviously only applicable when more than two people are playing.

Other than this the game follows the same basic format as real cricket, except that when only two are playing the length of an over is stretchable to infinity; however any respectful backyard cricketer would declare his innings once he had reached fifty and had obtained the bragging rights until the next match.

Another important part of the game is the equipment being used, which also has to be adapted depending on where the game is being played and what is available. Normally though an old cricket bat is around, and in a normal back garden setting an old tennis ball (in fact several) will be used. Almost anything you can hold and swing in two hands will do as a bat though, even (oh, dear...) a baseball bat will serve in moments of desperation and despair; but this particular utensil must be held with an air of disdain. Serious backyard cricketers will go to some lengths to make a tennis ball react as closely as possible to a real cricket ball, including using tape to create a ‘seam' and shaving one side of the ball to get a ‘shiny' side to give the ball ‘swing'! The stumps are most often the item least conforming to the real game – they can go from the proper item (including bails) to a rubbish bin to a set of chalk marks on a wall or garden shed. Of course this last one makes it extremely hard to tell whether a player has been bowled out, and can lead to some fiery confrontations to match Lillee versus Boycott. On the beach the most commonly used stumps is an insulated drinks cooler (or Esky in Aussie speak).

Although not strictly equipment, another addition to the game, which adds a certain something, is a dog, and they are either for you or against you; they rarely merely lie down on the pitch and simply create a hazard. A well-trained dog can be a major asset. A dog that will sit or lie while the ball is being bowled, and then fetch it on command, is worth half a dozen fielders; particularly when the ball is hit into the tangle of a garden. However most dogs are of the useless kind. They have all the basic attributes of a good backyard cricket dog except one. If you throw, or kick a ball for them, they will hunt it down if it is in hell itself, and return it to your feet; and continue the game all day, or until one of you wears out. Their fatal flaw is that they will not wait, so when the ball is bowled the batter has to hit both the dog and the ball, or stand aside and watch his stumps fall. Whichever type you have you do get the warm feeling of knowing that backyard cricket is equally good for the dog, giving it some excitement, exercise, and a feeling of oneness with the family.

The game ends often in a slightly haphazard way, but normally for one of the following reasons;

•  One or all of those playing are knackered.

•  One or all of those playing are inebriated (Adult version only!).

•  Someone hits the only remaining ball somewhere totally inaccessible.

•  It gets too dark to see.

•  Mum (or Wife or Girlfriend) gets fed up with damage to the garden/flowers, or calls you in for tea.

•  Someone breaks a window.

One final thing about backyard cricket, which probably applies only when boys are playing, is the essential running commentary. In my day this was the double act of Richie ‘Bowled ‘im' Benaud and Jim Laker who were the regular commentators on the BBC, and accurate mimicry of both voice and style while celebrating a classic caught and bowled was quite an art. We sometimes switched to a BBC Radio 3 commentary but John Arlott was extremely hard to mimic as a teenager, and was really only suitable for the drinks breaks! In fact this extended to all sports that I played with my friends, including the Subbuteo or other indoor versions, so for football it was David Coleman and John Motson, with added subtext from Jimmy Hill, while in tennis it had to be Dan ‘That's a peach' Maskall. We never managed to develop ‘Backyard Formula 1' but it would have been fun mimicking Murray Walker …

September 4

Italy , Monza

(Winner 2004, R Barrichello)

September 11

Belgium , Spa-Francorchamps

(Winner 2004, K Räikkönen)

September 25

Brazil , Sao Paulo

(Winner 2004, J Montoya)

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