February 2006 122nd Issue

Hua Hin Events

Chris (left) frantically hides his copy of Playboy when preparing for the Pool Presentations, while Oe (bottom) wins the prize for the sweetest smile!

Dusit Resort, Hua Hin recently celebrated its 15th anniversary and to mark the occasion, celebrated Thai singer and actor, Film Rattaphum Tokongsub, presented a bouquet of flowers to Victor Sukseree, the resort's general manager.

'Have you been naughty or nice?' asks Santa Claus at Crawfords in Cha Am.

Attendees look absorbed at the regulation and facilitate seminar for foriegn business owners in Prachuap Kiri Khan

Tanya and Simon Burgess tying the knot in Adelaide, South Australia on 30th December - Congratulations!

Members of the Rotary Club of Hua Hin celebrate their new President, Rtn. PD Somboon Srijhan at the Grand Hotel

I Love Webster

Webster Thailand Thriving by Kuldip Kumar Garhwal

I joined Webster University Thailand (WUT) in 2002 as a full time undergraduate and graduated in December 2005. In the three and half years that I was there, I saw it evolve remarkably.

Webster Thailand Student Council (WTSC) is comprised of volunteer students who work towards improving campus life. The WTSC is headed by four Officers, elected by the members of the Council. Organizing cultural events such as the Collage of Cultures and the Food Fair, I was treasurer (officer) of the WTSC.

From February 7-13, 2005, WTSC organized the Tsunami Relief Week. More than 81,000 baht was raised, through which the WTSC sponsored the construction of water tanks for a school affected by the Tsunami in Southern Thailand.

Band AIDS, a musical concert to raise AIDS awareness among the local community was held on September 10, 2005. The concert featured eleven bands, with professional and university student musicians. This raised 34,000 baht donated to the Thai Red Cross Society's AIDS Project on World AIDS Day, December 1, 2005. It was one of the biggest events undertaken by the WTSC and as a student stated “was probably the biggest and most successful Webster event yet.”

The International Food fair is an annual event at WUT now. Every year students from various nationalities get together and cook delicacies from their countries. On April 22 2005, it was not only food but also music. 29,000 baht was raised which was donated to the WUT Music Society for music equipment.

Another annual feature at WUT is the Collage of Cultures - a cultural extravaganza in which students celebrate the different cultures in Webster and display unity in diversity. Organized by the WTSC, the 3rd such show was held on December 10, 2005.

The WTSC also redesigned the student lounge, and on October 10, 2005 the WTSC Store was inaugurated. Over the years the WTSC has also organized overnight educational fieldtrips to Phuket, Kanchanaburi, Chiang Mai, Sukhothai, etc. WUT donated quilts and kerosene stoves worth more than 40,000 baht to the victims of the South Asian Earthquake in Pakistan. A new soccer field was inaugurated in 2005. This was possible through donations from students and friends of Webster.

The beach cleanup and Sand Sculptor contest was organized by the Special Events class. The beach clean up made it to the front page of the Bangkok Post, the leading English newspaper in Thailand.

Photographs taken by the students of the traditional black and white photo class were exhibited twice at Starbucks and once in Hilton Resort and Spa in Hua Hin over the years. A new student newspaper was designed in order to reposition community image, and in Fall 2004, the WUT community met CHAI, the first coloured student newspaper in the history of WUT.

WUT's website (www.webster.ac.th) got a makeover in December 2004. Since then the monthly hit counter has more than doubled and continues to increase. The computer network has been upgraded to allow faster connection speeds and easier access. Wireless Internet was also introduced.

Two new certificate programs - Professional Writing and Buddhist Studies - were added to the array of academics programs offered at WUT. Modern Dance, Yoga and Meditation classes were also offered from time-to-time.

And all the above was under the supervision of Rector Kit Jenkins. She has been providing constant effort to support the development of WUT.

There is potential and capabilities among the students; all we have to do is to find the opportunity and help WUT grow.

Crawfords Cha Am – One year on and going strong!

When it opened it's doors for business on 29 th December 2004, Crawfords Restaurant and Irish Bar offered a unique experience for local residents and tourists – a combination of excellent traditional Western food alongside genuine Thai dishes, cooked by chefs trained under the ‘Skills For Chefs' scheme at Crawfords, all washed down with the finest choice of draught and bottled beers, wines, spirits and in particular the selection of whiskeys. It was the first establishment in the area to offer genuine draught Guinness, and in addition has Kilkennys and Chang on tap. The kitchens are equipped to the highest level, completely visible and spotlessly clean, as is the entire place.

The proprietors, John and Janet, offer in their words ‘somewhere for people to be comfortable and relax, a home away from home'. With 25 full and part time staff they pride themselves on top class service, high quality food made with fresh ingredients purchased every day.

When the Observer visited them, a Thai pianist was tinkling away on the baby Grand piano, while the regular customers kicked back and enjoyed a cold beer on a hot day, in the shady front courtyard cooled by a unique fan and water mist system. For those who want to be a little more active, there is also a pool table as well as satellite TV showing live sports. Private parties can be catered for as well in a separate air-conditioned room that has a wide screen TV for either karaoke or movies. There is live music every night and special offers every day; examples are the American Style BBQ every Saturday night, price starting from 100 baht, or the traditional roast every Sunday from noon from 230 baht. Special occasions are also marked with special events, such as the Burns Night supper which took place on 25 th January, and the up coming St Patrick's Day on 17 th March which will undoubtedly be another memorable night in the growing history of Crawfords. The Six Nations rugby matches will be shown live throughout February and March, and accompanied by a free finger buffet too!

Many visitors to Hua Hin may have spotted the bar of the same name there, and while the two are linked, they offer distinctly different experiences, both equally enjoyable. If you have tried one, you should really experience the other, and if you haven't then try out the original Crawfords – you won't regret it.

How to find Crawfords – Observer's Cha Am map grid reference H12. Coming from Hua Hin take the first right after the Esso petrol station just before you reach Cha Am, and then follow the Crawfords signs. It is very near the Cha Am bus station.

Chiang Mai's Golden Flower

Lakana Panvichai, also known as Kam Pacha is an outspoken columnist eager to brings issues of sexual equality and power to the fore of Thai women's consciousness.

Pacha has raised eye brows among the more staid members of Thai society with her shoot-from-the-hip straight talking style, her naked pictures in GM Plus magazine, and her proud proclaiming that she is indeed a dokthong (literally ‘golden flower' which is Lanna slang for slut). Her best known work is Krathoo Dokthong or Slut Agenda, and a casual observer could be forgiven for thinking that Khun Kam was just another tacky publicity seeker using shock tactics to gain notoriety and make a quick buck on some trite Sex and the City type observations. The lady herself is instead a thoughtful, wellspoken and well-educated woman who holds strong opinions on issues of women's rights and sexuality. Unlike many social commentators Kam Pacha was not brought up in affluence. Rather she has worked hard to succeed on her own terms, and continues to forge her own unique path. Raised by her grandparents in rural Chiang Mai, she recalls having to lug heavy rice bags around to feed the ducks and having to work hard to help her grandparents out. Always bright, she won a scholarship to study in Japan at Kyoto University where she met her first husband, whom she has since divorced. Her rural upbringing has deeply affected the way she views life and given her a uniquely earthy and straightforward viewpoint on sex, society and the often twisted and hypocritical relation between the two. By calling herself a ‘golden flower' Kam Pacha proudly bears her different opinions just as she proudly bares her body.

How would you define the role of a modern Thai woman?

It's difficult to answer this because the phrase “Thai woman” includes Thai women from different levels and backgrounds. Thai women from rural areas are different from Thai women in urban centers, Thai women from rural areas in Northern part are different from Southern rural women. The ways in which Thai women from different areas, socioeconomic levels, and backgrounds have adjusted to the modern world are very different. But in general, I think Thai women are not particularly different from women in the rest of the world, in that we all share similarities that are by products of growing up in the modern era. One thing that stays the same around the world is that a woman's major role in life is expected to be that of a good mother and wife. Of course now many women are expected to hold a successful career as well, but no matter how well you perform outside the home you still have to be a good mother and wife. Women are expected to be able to balance both to be accepted as truly successful.

Do you think that Thai women have been “the rear legs of an elephant” for too long?

I'm not sure if we can ever define the role of women as ‘The rear legs of an elephant, because that implies that their support and work has never been acknowledged'. In the past, Thai women in rural areas worked just as hard as men and only women in the higher upper classes were raised to a more leisurely life as ‘the treasure' of the family, though even these women served an economic purpose. For example, if the governor of one town wants to have good relationship with governor another town, they will send their daughters to marry with the sons of the governor of the other town. That was the economic value of upper class women in old days. In that case, women were protected and not expected to do any hard work. But that doesn't mean Thai women in old days didn't have value or had a lesser role than men. Thai women have always had value and played an important role in society. Even now, the marriages of some hi-so people have been set up for reasons of economic or political advantage. Women in rural areas also have economic value as well in terms of their agricultural work and their fertility or ability to reproduce; the more children they can produce, the more labour they can have for work in the farm for family. In agricultural, the differentiation between the roles of men and women was not clearcut. I think for the majority of Thais the differences between roles of men and women are more a result of modernisation and urbanisation.

Do you think then that these changes as they are occurring now will change the very nature of Thai society?

To me, Thailand the country as we currently think of it began in the year 2475. Before that we called it Siam, Chiangmai, Ayuthya, etc., it was a series of quasi-independently governed provinces, with quite different characteristics. So the age of ‘Thai society' to me is only 70 years old. As for how much change has occurred in that time? Not much, though maybe the moral criteria used to judge people's actions have changed. Some people say that Thai women now are being deliberately provocative when they talk about sexual issues, but when I was growing up in the country women spoke very frankly about all sorts of aspects of sex and sexuality.

How do you handle many critics (and are they mainly men or women?) especially in the view of your recent revealing photos?

I don't pay much attention to whether the critics are men or women. I prefer to observe those critics as the phenomenon of society, an expression of what's going on in people's heads. I like to see how people respond to a woman who is not a model having nude pictures taken of her. I just acknowledge it but I don't feel any need to respond to it or feel bad because of their criticism. It's like an experiment, a way of gathering information about people's attitudes. Though to be honest the response of Thai people is quite predictable anyway. I don't think it changed anything much. I haven't died of shame or been hounded until I couldn't work or couldn't continue my life as normal. It's not a big deal. It's my body.

Whatever inspired you to be such an open, frank, and anti-establishment female?

Nothing particularly inspired me. I have always been interested in sex, the body, and the hierarchy of organs in our body.

Do you see Thai women one day playing a role as dominant and similar as in the west?

As I answered before I think Thai women have always played an important role in the family. I think the social status of Thai women, for better or worse is not measured by whether they play dominant role in family or not. Frankly, I'm more interested and would rather talk about who holds the power in relationships between men and women. I used to work on some cases dealing with women in rural areas. I met one 50-yearold woman from one of the Hill Tribes, who was pregnant and going to have an abortion because she already had 9 children. Economically, Thai women have always had the right to work etc., but when it comes to basic power or equality in a relationship Thai men still always have the upper hand. Women still don't have control over basic things like their own bodies or fertility, when a man demands sex a woman has to provide, they don't consider that they have any right to refuse. This is the issue that I'm most concerned about; I'm concerned about how women are conscious of their own bodies, what rights they think they have over their own vaginas. Relative power, psychologically speaking between men and women is what I'm trying to make women more aware of. I don't give a shit if women play dominant economic role in the family, or work outside home or not. Those issues are relatively small, considering the fact that if we could change the way women think inside their heads it would be far more empowering! Even a woman who is the president of the country, if she still has that male dominated and oriented view of power in relationships then her external success doesn't mean anything to me at all. I'm trying to get across to people that most of our behavior and thought processes are dictated by social construction that makes us perform in a way that society expects. There's nothing ‘natural' about it; we are all socialized and told by society that men should do this and women should do that. Male and female gender roles and stereotypes are just the results or products of social construction. That's not to say that I'm trying to break down society as it is. I just think that if we understood the origins of why we do what we do, people would have more freedom and be able to explore other alternatives.

Ultimately, aren't you simply being an exhibitionist?

Yes, I think so. I like to dress up and I like people to see it. I think that dressing up, putting on make up or making yourself beautiful before going out is also a kind of exhibitionist. If we dress up beautifully and no body looks at us, we want to know why. We all want to be admired and it's all part of being an exhibitionist. If you are aware of what you're doing where's the harm?, why be bothered about it? I think most people have an exhibitionist streak, they just don't acknowledge it, or accept it, which is a bit hypocritical.

Clearly you don't believe in old-fashioned values like fidelity, right?

Fidelity, monogamy, all the rules governing sexual unions etc, these things all perform a social function which aims to bring peace to society and to protect the society from crimes, though not always through our own conception of one-onone fidelity. For instance in some parts of Somalia a man may have up to seven wives, but this suits a society life expectancy for both mothers and their children is short and unpredictable. The wives provide backup support for raising children if a mother dies and also ensure that there will be enough children in the next generation to work the land. But in our society, which enjoys much higher standards of life and life expectancy, fertility etc. belief in fidelity and the legal union of marriage is more suitable. On the other hand I believe that biologically men and women are not designed to have just one partner for their entire lifetime. Many men have mistresses and people in society have to deal with it in an adult manner. If we understand how and why it happens, we can learn how to deal with it pragmatically and not to always conflate the emotions of love and the survival of the family in a romantic way. Many couples choose to stay together not because of ‘love', but instead because of familiarity, legal obligations, mutual debt, or responsibilities.

Would you consider one-night stand and in what circumstance?

In my age now, I can't do it anymore. I'm too old to risk on a one-night stand. I'm scared of many things like pregnancy, STDs, and my own personal safety. I've tried one-night-stands before, when I was younger; in my early twenties when I wasn't scared and wanted to try everything. I have no problem with other people having one-night-stands, as long as they are educated about contraception though.

If you had a daughter, would you teach her to be liberated in the same way that you are now advocating?

Once my daughter is old enough to take care of herself, she no longer belongs to me. I want my daughter to be able to think for herself and be able to come up with her own system of beliefs.

Do you believe that men and women are equal in every way?

Actually I have never believed that men and women are equal in every way, but I do believe that men and women have equal rights to negotiate what they want out of life. They both have to balance their wants and needs.

Asian news and current affairs

Myamar's underwater wonderland

As tourism increases in the beauty spots of Asia and development races ahead in a relentless tide of construction, many of the natural wonders that attracted people in the first place are being swallowed up. Beaches become concrete boulevards, primary forest becomes a parking lot and coral reefs simply don't become. The natural expansion of human activity forces us to seek out new playgrounds. However, as the planet slowly runs out of untouched destinations, the emphasis is shifting toward their conservation and the reduction of our impact on them.

Myanmar is a newcomer to the tourism and scuba-diving industry, with a total of about 200,000 visitors in 2003 compared with 10 million in neighbouring Thailand that year. The ruling military junta is making more effort to promote tourism in Myanmar, much of which is to the anger of human-rights activists who believe the generals will use the revenue to prolong their regime. But politics aside, the islands and waters of Myanmar's Mergui Archipelago are a beautiful part of the world.

In the 18th century the area was of major importance for trade between Eastern and Western civilizations, with the port of Mergui a significant access point bridging the Andaman and South China seas. The archipelago fell into obscurity after World War II and the changes that took place in Myanmar, known as Burma until 1989. It has had very little human interaction for more than 50 years. There is a small indigenous population of sea gypsies but in general the 850-plus islands composing the archipelago, some of which are the size of Singapore, are uninhabited.

Negotiations between dive operators based in Phuket, Thailand, and the Myanmar authorities began in 1994 for access to the frontier dive spots at the Burma Banks - a number of submerged seamounts in deep water in the Andaman Sea - and the myriad tropical islands of the Mergui Archipelago. Permission was finally granted in 1997 and a few boats began to run trips to these largely unexplored islands and reefs. Today, almost eight years on, there are only a handful of vessels that regularly travel to the islands of the Mergui Archipelago, which makes it one of the last remaining scuba-diving frontiers on the planet.

There is a rather steep US$150 one-off entrance fee to the National Park, but this can be forgiven if it all goes into the preservation of the natural ecosystems there. The government seems to be heading in the right direction with this by outlawing dynamite fishing, which in Indonesia and the Philippines is still a prevalent method of procuring fish and anything else in the vicinity. An even bigger step was taken in May 2004 when the Myanmar authorities also outlawed shark fishing in the area and created a “shark protection zone” between some of the islands.

Trips to the archipelago depart from Kaw Thaung, just west of Ranong, Thailand, and usually run from five to 10 days. Most live-aboard vessels such as ours, the MV Faah Yai, run up the coastline stopping at a number of islands and dive sites on the way. The diverse marine ecosystems offer a multitude of environments including mangroves, shallow inshore islands, fringing reefs, offshore rocky outcrops and pinnacles and sea mounts in deep, clear water.

Visibility varies with the seasons and positions of the dive sites. Closer inshore generally is not as good but some of the offshore spots yield stunning gin-clear water with better than 35 meters of visibility. One small rocky outcrop called Black Rock lies in water that drops down to more than 100 meters deep and often attracts larger pelagic fish such as barracuda, tuna, mackerel and reef sharks to feed in nutrient rich currents. While the sharks didn't put in an appearance during our visit, the spectacular underwater topography, pristine coral formations, and crystal-clear waters more than made up for it.

Other dive sites include underwater cave systems (one aptly named “Shark Cave”) housing countless crustaceans and even a four-meter nurse shark, which fortunately was sleeping at the time. Coral gardens contain untouched, healthy hard corals and fields of anemones, many of which are home to clownfish, recently made popular by the movie Finding Nemo. Huge red and yellow sea fans stretch more than two meters in diameter and an explosion of colour can be seen from a colossal variety of soft corals, sponges, clams, ascidians, holothurians and sea stars.

A dive after dark reveals another world altogether with coral polyps feeding in the gentle moonlit waters, crabs and lobsters on the prowl, moray eels venturing out of their lairs under the cover of darkness and flamboyant cuttlefish and squid drifting into the blackness. A fantastic display can be seen if lights are extinguished as the bio-phosphorescence is illuminated in the darkness forming large swirling clouds like tiny marine fireflies.

Marine life is equally impressive because of the remoteness of the dive spots and the limited impact of human activity when compared with across the border in Thailand. Moray eels were spotted on almost every dive, massive schools of fusiliers swirl around coral pinnacles and along vertical walls, inquisitive batfish move in for a closer look and even large octopus remain unperturbed by divers. Leopard and white tip sharks were spotted by some of the divers at depth, but these retained some of their shyness and stayed at bay. Large black rays frequent the area and many spots are popular with mantas, which come in to feed at certain times of the year when the plankton is blooming.

Underwater photographers can also not fail to be impressed with the variety of smaller life - brightly coloured nudibranchs, porcelain and decorator crabs, pipefish and seahorses are all on display. Close inspection of any coral head can reveal an entire community of macro marine organisms living in symbiosis.

The islands also offer an array of activities for the non-diver or the adventure naturalist. Kayak and river trips are available, and trekking through virgin forests on uninhabited islands can reveal some of the last jungle cats and other large mammals to be found in Southeast Asia. Huge expanses of mangroves extend for many kilometres inland and form a perfect ecosystem for a wide variety of birds and monkeys.

The Mergui Archipelago represents one of the last natural areas of the world that have yet to be consumed by tourism and development. The natural beauty of the region both above and below the surface is simply stunning, and its fate now lies in the hands of the authorities that manage it and to some extent the people who visit it. The professionalism and environmental awareness of our crew was an admirable example to any operators running trips in this area. We only hope that the area remains in its natural and undeveloped state for many years to come.

Martin J. Young 2005. More dive site info can be found at www.asiadivesite.com

Honey To Bunny & Teddy From Bumpkins

WHAT DO YOU THINK of when someone mentions Valentine's Day? Hearts, flowers, cherubs, Chocolate? Or do you regard it as an over-hyped creation of the cardmakers, jewellers, travel agents, sweet shops and restaurants? Whichever it is, the chances are that your current or potential partner are likely to want some expression of your feelings on the fateful day (and if you are being honest with yourself, you do too), so on the next few pages you will find a whole host of ways to charm your chosen one.

If your out to seriously impress or alternatively bankrupt yourself, some of the following items may be of interesty on Valentines day:

Diamond encrusted Millennium Bra by Victoria's Secret $10 million (does not include the female catalogue model)

Custom Stuart Weitzman Designer Shoes $1,594,505 Harrods of London

Gianni Vive Sulman Watch $520,000

Perpetua Watch Winder $3295 (for the $520,000 watch)

Jill Dyball crystal and diamond bridal bouquet $350,000

Wilson Audio Modular Monitor Music Speakers $225,000

Designer Cell Phone from David Morris International, of London $104,050

Gianni Vive Sulman Parfum VI - Perfume $88,698

Imperial Suite, President Wilson Hotel, Geneva Switzerland $33,000 per night.

Golden Opulence Ice Cream Sundae-Serendipity Restaurant New York, $1,000

For the remainder of us the survey of 1,000 people for the Spoken Word Publishing Association may be of more comfort to our pockets, 19% said they would prefer loving words. The only gift they wanted more than this was one that puts deeds before words - a holiday mini-break.

Mr Clark, the association chairman, said: “I've seen the power of poetry for myself. You can't beat a poem beautifully read to melt your lover's heart”.

The favourite Valentine texts mentioned in the public's replies were Robert Burns's My Love is like a Red, Red Rose and John Donne's love sonnet The Good Morrow. A less known favourite was Philip Larkin's modern verse Wedding Wind.

More men than women in the survey regarded sexy lingerie as a sure-fire winner.

One woman thought of a turn-on that would be more potent for her than anything on the list: “When he cleans the bathroom unasked.”

As a follow on from that survey, our choice of poems that you might want to consider for V Day is on the next page.

TOP 10

1. A surprise mini-break, 27%

2. Carefully chosen love poetry/prose, 19%

3. A meal at a fantastic restaurant, 17%

4. A romantic text message, 14%

5. A dozen perfect roses, 9%

6. A sensual massage, 5%

7. A box of chocolates, 4%

8. A trip in a hot air balloon, 3%

9. Sexy lingerie, 1%

10. A serenade, 1%

Love Poems

HOW DO I LOVE THEE?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, --I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! --And, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1770-1850)

I WROTE HER NAME

One day I wrote her name upon the sand,

But came the waves and washed it away:

Again I wrote it with a second hand,

But came the tide and made my pains his prey.

“Vain man,” said she, “that dost in vain essay

A mortal thing so to immortalize;

For I myself shall like to this decay,

And eke my name be wiped out likewise.”

“Not so,” quoth I; “let baser things devise

To lie in dust, but you shall live by fame;

My verse your virtues rare shall eternize,

And in the heavens write you glorious name:

Where, when as Death shall all the world subdue,

Our love shall live, and later life renew.”

Edmund Spenser (1552-1599)

LOVERS' INFINITENESS

If yet I have not all thy love,

Dear, I shall never have it all;

I cannot breathe one other sigh, to move,

Nor can intreat one other tear to fall;

And all my treasure, which should purchase thee--

Sighs, tears, and oaths, and letters--I have spent.

Yet no more can be due to me,

Than at the bargain made was meant;

If then thy gift of love were partial,

That some to me, some should to others fall,

Dear, I shall never have thee all.

Or if then thou gavest me all,

All was but all, which thou hadst then;

But if in thy heart, since, there be or shall

New love created be, by other men,

Which have their stocks entire, and can in tears,

In sighs, in oaths, and letters, outbid me,

This new love may beget new fears,

For this love was not vow'd by thee.

And yet it was, thy gift being general;

The ground, thy heart, is mine; whatever shall

Grow there, dear, I should have it all.

Yet I would not have all yet,

He that hath all can have no more;

And since my love doth every day admit

New growth, thou shouldst have new rewards in store;

Thou canst not every day give me thy heart,

If thou canst give it, then thou never gavest it;

Love's riddles are, that though thy heart depart,

It stays at home, and thou with losing savest it;

But we will have a way more liberal,

Than changing hearts, to join them; so we shall

Be one, and one another's all.

John Donne (1572-1631)

NEVER BLOWS SO RED

I sometimes think that never blows so red

The rose as where some buried Caesar bled.

That every hyacinth the garden wears;

Dropt in her lap from some once lovely head.

Omar Khayyam (unknown-1131)

MARRIAGE OF THE TRUE MINDS

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments.

Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove;

O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not

Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error, and upon me prov'd,

I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

Excerpt from Marriage of True Minds

by William Shakespeare

LOVE'S PHILOSOPHY

The fountains mingle with the river,

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix forever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by law divine

In one another's being mingle; --

Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another

No sister flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother;

And sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea;

What are all these kissings worth

If thou kiss not me?

Percy Shelley (1792-1822)

THE SORROW OF LOVE

The quarrel of the sparrow in the eaves,

The full round moon and the star-laden sky,

And the loud song of the ever-singing leaves,

Had hid away earth's old and weary cry.

And then you came with those red mournful lips,

And with you came the whole of the world's tears,

And all the sorrows of her labouring ships,

And all the burden of her myriad years.

And now the sparrows warring in the eaves,

The curd-pale moon, the white stars in the sky,

And the loud chaunting of the unquiet leaves,

Are shaken with earth's old and weary cry.

William Butler Yeats (1865-1939)

TO A HUSBAND

This is to the crown and blessing of my life,

The much loved husband of a happy wife;

To him whose constant passion found the art

To win a stubborn and ungrateful heart,

And to the world by tenderest proof discovers

They err, who say that husbands can't be lovers.

With such return of passion, as is due,

Daphnis I love, Daphinis my thoughts pursue;

Daphnis, my hopes and joys are bounded all in you.

Even I, for Daphnis' and my promise' sake,

What I in woman censure, undertake.

But this from love, not vanity proceeds;

You know who writes, and I who ‘tis that reads.

Judge not my passion by my want of skill:

Many love well, though they express it ill;

And I your censure could with pleasure bear,

Would you but soon return, and speak it here.

Anne Finch (1620-1720)

Romantic Locations

THAILAND is one of the first choices for many people when it comes to finding a romantic location, and here are some suggestions.

SUNSET ON THE SOUTH WEST COAST

There are numerous locations stretching from Ranong all the way down to the Malaysian border where you can watch, hand in hand, as the sun sinks into the Andaman Sea. Phuket will be the choice of many, and there are a whole host of ‘sunset cruises' emanating from there, as well as other locations further south.

DINNER CRUISE ON THE CHAO PHRAYA RIVER

There are a variety of companies offering this romantic option; fine dining at a gentle pace while watching the hustle and bustle of the Big Mango drift by, along with the stunning landmarks, such as the Temple of Dawn, the Temple of Emerald Buddha, Bang Khunprom Palace, Kanlayanamitr Temple, Krungthon Bridge, and the Oriental Hotel.

UNDERWATER WEDDING FESTIVAL

Thirty couples from all over the world, all qualified divers, stage this unique event, held on St Valentine's Day under the crystal clear waters of Trang in South Thailand. Masks, tanks, flippers, white wedding dresses, tuxedos – right down to waterproof marriage certificates and pens that write underwater! Bizarre... but something you'd never forget!

Hua Hin and Cha Am have more than their fair share of romantic spots, from secluded coves which we are going to keep to ourselves (but with a map and an adventurous spirit aren't too hard to find!), to restaurants on the beach (our favourite is Supatra By The Sea) to a picnic at Pala U waterfall or Hin Lek Fai, the viewpoint above the town.

For the globe trotters amongst you here are a few other options....

TWILIGHT ZONE TOWER OF TERROR, ORLANDO

The sudden shock of this thrill ride par excellence induces a state of heightened emotion, rendering loved ones more open to intense feelings of all kinds. It can, however, develop “minor glitches, causing heads to knock on the ceiling as riders plunge back to sea level”. Alternatively try The Big Shot, Las Vegas, which can be rented for private parties.

CHIANTI VINEYARDS

For a truly mellow romantic experience, sample some of the world's best wines amongst some of the world's most beautiful scenery. The Top Ten guide to Tuscany lists the top Chianti vineyards to visit, from Castello di Brolio to Castello da Uzzano.

UFFIZI, FLORENCE

View the art of love - see two of the greatest depictions of the female nude ever painted, Botticelli's Birth of Venus, and Titian's sublimely erotic Venus of Urbino. Or try the Louvre in Paris, which houses the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo, or, closer to home, the Rokeby Venus in London's National Gallery.

FLY OVER THE GRAND CANYON

Express your feelings in the presence of one of nature's greatest wonders; “overwhelming” and “humbling” are the words most often used to describe the sight of the Grand Canyon, especially at dawn or sunset.

A DAY IN BERLIN.

Visit the Zoological Gardens in the afternoon to see the famous pandas, and cuddle in the darkness of the nocturnal animal house. Walk in the romantic Tiergarten at night, lit by 80 historic gaslights, before returning to the Hotel Adlon Berlin, host to glamorous former guests such as Greta Garbo and Thomas Mann.

PIÉMANCON BEACH IN THE CAMARGUE

Discover the “beach beyond civilisation” - wild and mysterious and can only be reached by threading through a host of salt-flats and lagoons.

A PLACE WITH A VIEW

Take the Torre de Collserola in Barcelona and be whisked up the mountain of Tibidado in a high-tech transparent lift to see spectacular views of the sea, the Pyrenees, and the city below. Or few sights in Paris are more memorable than the panoramic view from the steps of the Sacre-Coeur at sunset.

A PERFECT HIDEAWAY HOTEL.

Locanda Cipriani on the island of Torcello, Venice, has a wonderful restaurant, and once the day-trippers have left, you can explore on your own. Or Hotel Costes, Paris, with low lighting, dark furniture, and an Oriental-style swimming pool.

HEAD FOR A LONDON PARK

London has some of the greatest parks in the world, offering romantic possibilities ranging from rowing on the Serpentine to Speakers' Corner in Hyde Park, where, if you're feeling really adventurous, you can get on a soapbox to proclaim your love.

A RESTAURANT WITH REAL “WOW” FACTOR

Want to really impress your date? With the “speechless aplomb of its candlelit dinners” and “epic Sunday brunches”, The Verandah in Hong Kong will do the trick. Alternatively try the Restaurant Louis XV in Monte Carlo, offering “cuisine as an art form”, or the Oxo Tower, with stunning views of London.

Our tune's

Many couples have one song that has extra special meaning - maybe from when they met, or their first dance, or even their first kiss. If you are still waiting for that moment, try to do it to one of the following (rather than (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones).

ERIC CLAPTON: WONDERFUL TONIGHT

The leisurely guitar licks and drowsy vocals disguise the fact that the lyrics are simply an account of a rather boring evening in Eric's life. He watches his other half brush her hair, they go to a party, he gets a headache, gives her the car keys and they go home. Who said romance was dead?

LIONEL RITCHIE & DIANA ROSS:

ENDLESS LOVE

The ultimate duet, “Endless Love” is one of the most popular songs for weddings and karaoke bars, not to mention the catalyst for the hilarious ice-skating scene in the 1996 Adam Sandler comedy Happy Gilmore.

ELTON JOHN: YOUR SONG

A favourite of Radio 2 listeners and mums everywhere, this is an uncomplicated, heartfelt affair, even if it is a little galling to hear one of the richest men in the world complain that he “don't have much money”.

MARVIN GAYE: LET'S GET IT ON

Another not to play in the early stages of a relationship, though for quite different reasons. Casually slipping it onto the stereo after dimming the lights and pouring the wine may have the effect of sending your prospective partner running for the door. Or, quite possibly, the police.

THE POLICE: EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE

Sting and co prove that stalking is a fit subject for pop. Paranoid and slightly chilling, avoid socialising with couples who have chosen this to be ‘their song', as it will probably end in tears at the very least.

FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD:

THE POWER OF LOVE

A ridiculous mock-religious epic, complete with orchestral flourishes and spectacular thunderclaps, this represents the pinnacle of the 1980s power ballad sub-genre. A word of warning: do not attempt to dance to it on your own or mouth along with the words. It will not endear you to anyone.

CELINE DION: MY HEART WILL GO ON

Best filed under ‘crimes against humanity', this preposterous, overblown tripe is only included here due to its mysterious popularity. It apparently gets played at funerals quite often, and not just for those involved in iceberg-related accidents.

THE BEATLES: SOMETHING

The late George Harrison's finest hour. Sincere, passionate, and bursting at the seams with wide - albeit bleary - eyed wonder, this was also the only moptops track to be covered by Frank Sinatra, and he knew a thing or two about l'amore.

SAM COOKE: WONDERFUL WORLD

He may not have been God's gift to algebra, and he may not even have known what a slide rule is for (what is it for, exactly?), but Mr. Cooke certainly knew how to pen a tune. Proving that simplicity is the key to a classic love song, this 1960 hit still resonates in the hearts of the educationally challenged everywhere.

BRYAN ADAMS:

EVERYTHING I DO (I DO IT FOR YOU)

How many of us have felt like we would do anything for the person we love? The theme song for the film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, earned Bryan a Best Song Oscar in 1992. This Canadian boy's raspy voice just begs you to believe what he says to be true.

BILLY JOEL: JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

“Don't go changin'/ to try to please me” — does this man really exist? Sensitive piano man Billy moves me repeatedly with his timeless song about loving someone for who they truly are. Of course this was also covered by the large gentleman below and his version may be more appropriate for your ‘special' night.

BARRY WHITE:

CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR LOVE

Any Barry White song will set the mood for love. Much in the way that dog whistles are only audible to dogs, Barry sings in an octave that is only comprehensible when thinking with your below-the-belt brain.\

ELVIS PRESLEY: CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE

Quite simply a classic from the King Of Rock ‘n' Roll. And not a hipshake in sight.

THE BEACH BOYS: GOD ONLY KNOWS

Some of the most beautiful harmonies to be found anywhere in popular music, wedded to Brian Wilson's childishly innocent lyrics, serve to create the greatest musical monument to love ever created. “If you should ever leave me / life would still go on believe me / the world could show nothing to me / so what good would living do me?” is the epitome of demented lovers' logic.

LEONARD COHEN: TOWER OF SONG

Not so much a love song as a bitter, consumptive poison-pen letter from a spurned admirer to his lady love, this sees the godfather of woe growl his way through four of the most bilious minutes ever committed to vinyl. Best appreciated at 5am whilst cradling a tear-stained bottle of London Gin. Not one for a first date, then.

GLADYS KNIGHT:

THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME

It always puzzled me as to why this fantastic soul singer hadn't changed her name to something a little more suitable; the name Gladys just conjures up images of a holiday camp hostess or a chain smoking waitress in a greasy spoon ‘caff'. However those thoughts are washed away when she sings; this is not as good as her classic tear jerker ‘Help Me Make It Through The Night', but it's a damn fine love song. Where's me fags, Glad?

CYNDI LAUPER: TRUE COLORS

Despite the annoying American spelling of ‘Colours', the woman in desperate need of a good fashion consultant delivers a stunning love song that even Phil Collins couldn't ruin.

ETTA JAMES : AT LAST

A soulful song about finally getting the person you've dreamed of. Although there are many covers of this song, it's the sincerity of Etta's voice that makes you feel the pain and joy of having someone finally love you — all in one note.

STEVIE WONDER:

YOU ARE THE SUNSHINE OF MY LIFE

What I love about Stevie is the extreme range of his emotions. When he's down, you're in the depths of hell too; when he's up, you're right there with him — smiling, clapping and celebrating love. This song is guaranteed to pick you up when you are having a bad day. And just so much better than ‘I Just Called To Say I Love You'.

DUSTY SPRINGFIELD: THE LOOK OF LOVE

Burt Bacharach and Hal David wrote a lot of cool, kitsch hits together, but when they got Dusty Springfield to sing this sultry song about desire and longing, they struck groovy gold. Best served with martinis, lava lamp lighting and shag carpeting (Yeah baby!).

VAN MORRISON:

HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY THAT I LOVE YOU

Van really is The Man with this simple and poignant song; it's about time Ronan Keating covered this one except that it is too similar to his ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes'. Anyway, all you younger listeners out there, if you like Ronan you should check out Van.

HARRY CONNICK JR.: IT HAD TO BE YOU

Have you ever looked at your pal sitting next to you and then realized, “Damn, I think I'm falling in love with you”? Hopefully you don't end up taking 10 years to figure this out like Harry and Sally. The ideal song for anyone who is in love with his or her best friend.

Sofa popcorn .... action

Let the romantic in you run free as you snuggle up with your loved one to watch a classic love story - here are some suggestions...

THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)

Cary Grant plays C.K. Dexter Hayden, the ex-husband of Tracy Lord (Katherine Hepburn), a young woman from a wealthy family who is preparing to wed again in the social event of the season. But when Hayden returns to get the scoop on his former love's new husband to be, he stirs up trouble with the help of a reporter (Jimmy Stewart) who is less interested in the event than the girl. Despite her aloof manner, Tracy's feelings for Dex have never completely vanished and her plans for the wedding turn upside down. Hepburn is funny and endearing as this snobby princess who comes to accept the failings in her ex-husband. Stewart won an Academy Award for his role. Starring Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart, Katherine Hepburn.

ROXANNE (1987)

Loosely based on the story of Cyrano de Bergerac, Roxanne takes a modern spin on the classic tale of unrequited love. C.D. Bales (Steve Martin) is the big-nosed chief of the fire department in a small resort town. Roxanne (Daryl Hannah) is the brainy new girl in the neighbourhood. When she falls for one of the hunks in the fire station, though, C.D. plays the reluctant matchmaker while loving her from afar. Starring Steve Martin, Daryl Hannah, Rick Rossovich.

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY... (1989)

Rob Reiner (Stand By Me) directs this wonderful story of a relationship that grows over a decade. Intercut with interviews of other couples' stories of how they met, When Harry Met Sally... is both original and funny, and Nora Ephron's dialogue is terrific. Billy Crystal is outstanding, and Meg Ryan is sweet and funny. Starring Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Bruno Kirby, Carrie Fisher.

THE WEDDING SINGER (1998)

Robbie Benson (Adam Sandler) is a singer with great style and a renowned reputation for being the best choice for weddings. All of that goes out the window, however, when his own plans for marital bliss end with him stranded at the altar. After giving up his music and his career, he finds himself drawn back into the process to help his friend Julia (Drew Barrymore) plan her wedding. What he finds, however, is that love is found where it is least expected. Starring Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Christine Taylor.

GRAND HOTEL (1932)

Berlin's plushest, most expensive hotel is the setting where in the words of Dr. Otternschlag “People come, people go. Nothing ever happens.”. The doctor is usually drunk so he misses the fact that Baron von Geigern (John Barrymore) is broke and trying to steal eccentric dancer Grusinskaya's (Greta Garbo) pearls. He ends up stealing her heart instead. Powerful German businessman Preysing (Wallace Beery) brow beats Kringelein (Lionel Barrymore), one of his company's lowly bookkeepers but it is the terminally ill Kringelein who holds all the cards in the end. Meanwhile, the Baron also steals the heart of Preysing's mistress, Flaemmchen (Joan Crawford), but she doesn't end up with either one of them in the end... Starring Greta Garbo, Joan Crawford, John Barrymore, Wallace Beery, Lionel Barrymore.

LOVE STORY (1970)

The title alone means this has to be included; rich Harvard Law student Oliver Barrett IV (Ryan O'Neal) meets poor music student Jennifer Cavalleri (Ali MacGraw), and the couple soon enter into a relationship. When the couple decide to get married, Oliver's father (Ray Milland) threatens to disinherit him from the family will, leaving Oliver and Jennifer to start their marriage at rock-bottom. Jennifer and her dad (John Marley) try to reconcile father and son, but the two prefer to remain at war with one another. Years go by, and the young couple attempt to have children, only to discover that she cannot and has a terminal illness to boot. Starring Ryan O'Neal, Ali MacGraw, Ray Milland and a very young Tommy Lee Jones in his first screen role.

SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (1998)

Shakespeare gets rewritten in this wonderful story of what his life could have been like as a struggling young artist. Filled with a thousand tiny nods and winks to the Bard's greatest masterpieces, Shakespeare in Love tells of his attempt to write a play (originally titled “Romeo and Ethyl, the Pirate's Daughter”) while trying to win the love of a young woman (Gwenyth Paltrow) who has disguised herself as a man to participate in the theatre. Filled with laughs as well as a wonderful, heartwarming romance. Paltrow and Judi Dench won Academy AwardsTM for their roles. Starring Joseph Fiennes, Gwenyth Paltrow, Judi Dench, Geoffery Rush.

SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE (1993)

Nora Ephron updates the classic An Affair to Remember (1957) as a ‘90s tale of starting over. Sam (Tom Hanks) is a widower who still mourns the death of his wife after a year. His son, determined to get him help, calls a nationwide radio talk show. The touching interview is heard by thousands, including Annie (Meg Ryan) who becomes obsessed with finding him. The story of Sam's loss is as touching as Annie's desire to find a perfect soul mate. Of course, Ryan is charming. Hanks is funny and sympathetic. Starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan.

BRIEF ENCOUNTER (1945)

A black and white classic romance, written by Noel Coward and directed by David Lean. In a cafe at Waterloo station, housewife Laura Jesson (Celia Johnson) meets doctor Alec Harvey (Trevor Howard). Although they are already married, they gradually fall in love with each other. They continue to meet every Thursday in the small cafe, although they know that their love is impossible. Starring Celia Johnson, Trevor Howard, Stanley Holloway.

SAY ANYTHING... (1989)

The only “teen” movie that deserves to be on the list, Say Anything... is a smart, original story of Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack), who has just graduated high school only to find himself without direction. All his ambition is focused on the valedictorian (Ione Skye) who is much more down-to-earth than Lloyd and his friends had imagined. Smart, funny, and with a soundtrack so cool it has to be from the ‘80s. Starring John Cusack, Ione Skye, Lili Taylor, Joan Cusak.

The food of love

The old saying is that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach - well it probably applies to both sexes, so here is our succulent and sexy suggestions!

STRAWBERRIES

Sexy in both colour and shape, on their own or in combination with cream, chocolate or ice cream they are the ultimate ‘passion fruit'!

CHOCOLATE

Chocolate is arguably the favourite food of love and is believed to have qualities that increase sexual appetite. It also tastes fantastic and is loved by just about everyone.

OYSTERS AND MUSSELS

These can be seriously seductive, but not everyone cares for them. Make sure your dining companion likes/isn't allergic to shellfish as this could definitely ruin the moment.

PRAWNS

Prawns are the perfect finger food and, with all that finger licking, can be quite suggestive too. However the same warning as above applies.

CHAMPAGNE AND CAVIAR

It doesn't get much more spohisticated than this classic combination. Let the bubbles of the champagne go to your head and savour the salty bubbles of caviar as they burst on your tongue - a sensory feast and no slaving in the kitchen required!

ICE CREAM

Those 1990s black and white Haagen Daaz adverts managed to transform our perception of ice cream. Gone are the thoughts of Mr Whippy and his chemically-produced gunk. In his place is a six-pack flaunting male model indulging in upmarket ice cream churned with double cream and packed with exotic flavours. But although the shop-bought stuff can be excellent, nothing beats homemade ice cream. Add a banana to the mix and you're away!

“There is no sight on earth more appealing than the sight of a woman making dinner for someone she loves.”

Thomas Wolfe (1900-1938)

“Cooking is like love, it should be entered into with abandon or not at all.”

Harriet Van Horne, Vogue 10/1956

“I strongly believe that culinary love is not about having a French Passport, but about what you feel.”

Albert Roux

“Don't let love interfere with your appetite. It never does with mine.”

Anthony Trollope, English novelist

“Cooking is at once child's play and adult joy. And cooking done with care is an act of love.”

Craig Claiborne, Craig Claiborne's

Kitchen Primer

“Well loved he garleek, oynons, and eek lekes. And for to drinken strong wyn, reed as blood.”

Geoffrey Chaucer (1340 ? - 1400)

Canterbury Tales

“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.”

George Bernard Shaw, Irish playwright

(1856-1950)

“Happy and successful cooking doesn't rely only on know-how; it comes from the heart, makes great demands on the palate and needs enthusiasm and a deep love of food to bring it to life.”

Georges Blanc, Ma Cuisine des Saisons

“I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.”

Nora Ephron, Heartburn

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