SPORTS
Hua Hin Hash House Harriers
Run #110: SAILOR BEWARE The 110th Run of H2H3 was held for Hardy Hashers at a remote location north and left of Cha Am on 24th November. Attendances are improving as the climatechange refugees make the big bid for freedom from the frosts and foul weather and return to swell our numbers and our coffers. Saturday was also Loy Kratong so there was a frenzy of trading and traffickin in Kratongs before the hares, Ballbanger, 69 Forever, and Slackbladder, were able to achieve a marginally lower volume of background noise to explain the trials and tribulations ahead of us.
Hashes usually start off in a fairly straightforward fashion to lull the unwary into a false sense of complacency and this one followed the pattern apart from involving us in an inordinate amount of bobbing and weaving in the early stages. If it is true that the “rolling English drunkard made the rolling English roads” then Slackbladder, as the only English hare must take the blame for the first part of the trail. Despite its meanderings the trail was beautifully scenic and open enough for the scenery to be appreciated without having to watch one’s feet all the time. The surface became a bit trickier as we traversed the shale pits that undulated more than somewhat and caused various problems. Some of the down slopes were downright precipitous and were dealt with in different ways by different Hashers – the elderly and decrepit opted for a backward descent a la fireman’s style – James attempted a double somersault at one stage but achieved only an acrobatic, albeit spectacular, tumble. True to the age-old Hash tradition he resumed the vertical position and proceeded on his bloodspattered
way. One of the most versatile performances across these wet and wobbly stretches was provided by an English visitor, Lady Ann, who displayed some nifty footwork, not to mention a rather neat ankle as she negotiated these mucky mounds. A real moment of high drama arose when the front runners were confronted by a dirteating dinosaur which was chewing up vast tracts of the trail even as we tried to follow it. Enter that latter-day Beowulf, the bold, bald and brazen Ballbanger to snatch Butt Out from the very jaws of the Juggernaut by flaunting his swimming trolleys, which were U.S. Navy issue circa John Paul Jones’s time. Having inflicted this awful eyesore on the monster our intrepid hero then reverted to being Moses and led us on a different path to the Promised Land. As we wended our way through a secluded sylvan glade beside the still waters of a lotus-covered lake Ballbanger completely shattered the mood by pointing out the top of a water tower which was barely discernable to even the keenest of eyes and remarking that that was Journey’s End and it was less than a kilometre away as the crow flies. When the crow is 30 pounds overweight with a positive penchant for getting lost it is better to follow the paper. Despite the blatantly false accounting of the hares (200 metres indeed!!!) all participants made it back to the beer truck for a brief libation before it was dark enough to light and launch our Kratongs on to the little “level lake” beneath the “long glories of a winter moon”. From this sublime setting and full of happy thoughts we were summarily summoned to the cor-blimey of Slackbladder’s circle and a flurry of silly ideas that resulted in more beer drinking. James’s mid-run callisthenics obviously did not adversely affect his performance as he was down-downed as Front Running Biped in the company of the delectable Rin Tin Tong who was First Belle Back. After an indecent interval we were able to break away and make our way to 69 Forever’s Broad Acres where Ice Pussy had prepared a sumptuous repast for us and we were delighted to sit down and drink beer beside the pool and admire the magnificence of the moon.
Run #111: THE NELSON TOUCH Saturday 8th December saw the 111th
run of H2H3 and it was inevitably dubbed the Nelson Run because of the 111
association with Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson - one eye, one arm, one ball, which was Nelson’s inventory when he kissed Hardy Goodnight and hung up his telescope. He would have been anexemplary Hasher as he could turn a blind eye to the trail, and most ‘Ashers are ‘armless and have dropped a bollock at one time or another. The locale was the northern edge of Pedro’s Patch impinging in places on Mudman’s Manor, and the hares were Scotch Tape, hindered, hampered and harassed by Ballbanger and Slackbladder. The paper laid out across the bleak parking area had been dispersed to the four winds so it took a bit of physical and verbal cajolery to induce the pack of 40 or so Hashers on to a track where the paper trail became visible. A few early checks on the trail provided hiatuses enough to keep the gang reasonably together as they entered the first stretch of bushy terrain. This was rather open type bush country - just a pleasant perambulation over and under a few babbling brooks and thorny dells and soon the participants became processional with the Front Running Bushmen galloping ahead. As gaps widened between groups the nether third of the company vacillated to and fro along the main track and showed a marked reluctance to venture near the pylon where the trail led. Indeed they seemed to be regarding it not as a pylon but as a python and trying to snake off in a different direction until shown the error of their ways by Scotch Tape - the eagleeyed invigilator - who was prowling around waiting to prey on the fallen.
Having set the laggards on to the pylon path poor old Scotch Tape was almost
immediately beset by a host of incoming as he tried nobly to field the middle third of
the congregation, whom he had assumed were proceeding serenely ahead of him but
who were now advancing rapidly upon him with all the grace and amiability of a cattle stampede. Slackbladder, further ahead with his bungling bugle, had instituted
a roundabout whirligig system that was projecting runners and walkers back the
way they had come at a rapid rate of knots. Cometh the hour, cometh the man. In steps Scotch Tape to quell the irate Hashers with his silver tongue and encyclopaedic
local geographical knowledge. However it was not easy to convince people who
had circumnavigated the same stretch of terrain eleventeen times already that just “ one more time around Piccadilly Circus” would lead them on to the true and shining
path. The only beneficiaries from this fiasco were two American visitors, Tom and Dave, who had been decorously bringing up the rear but who now looked askance at all the milling and roiling and took advantage of the situation to pass through on the correct trail ahead of all the millers and rollers. The front-runners who had not had the benefit of Slackbladdder’s serenades and symbiosis had reached the parting of the ways where the runners turned right up the hill to progress along a very scenic ledge before plunging into a stretch of grassland you could lose elephants in. Meanwhile the walkers had turned left and were able to enjoy the scenery in more leisurely fashion while strolling down the slope. No more alarums and excursions until the very final
stages when a breakaway contingent took to the tarmac and arrived from a totally
unexpected direction. Sparky, Onefer, Mudman, 69Forever, Ballbanger and several other stalwarts had been back for so long before the others that they had
been able to behold a spectacular sunset and become candidates for admission to a
Betty Ford clinic. Slackbladder summoned us to the circle where he gathered his wandering flockers around him and demonstrated the proper version of “The Grand Old Duke of York”. Ballbanger misheard and thought it had been suggested that we “nuke the Dork”. Rolo the Returner’s son Colin was downdowne for persistent mithering and also had a mosquito-repellent enema inflicted by Piste Again. After a bit more noise, nonsense and ‘nebriation Slackbladder eventually relented and allowed the Hashers to defect to Dave’s Californian Mining Cantina for the ON-ON.
Hua Hin Darts
HUA HIN DARTS LEAGUE
DIVISION 1
TEAM P W D L PF-PA PTS
JW RED 4 4 0 0 28-12 8
JW BLACK 4 3 1 0 28-12 7
CAT 4 2 1 1 22-18 5
JUNGLE JUICE 4 2 0 2 25-15 4
DICKS OFFICE A 4 2 0 2 19-21 4
PINK FLAMINGO 4 2 0 2 17-23 4
JAEW BAR 4 0 0 4 10-30 0
BAMBOO GROVE 4 0 0 4 11-29 0
DIVISION 2
TEAM P W D L PF-PA PTS
MOJOS TRIO 3 3 0 0 23-7 6
BUTTERFLY ROCK* 4 3 0 1 25-15 6
LAZY DAZE 3 1 2 0 17-13 4
DICKS OFFICE B 4 1 1 2 21-19 3
GOOD FRIENDS 4 1 1 2 17-23 3
LOVE BAR 3 1 0 2 9-21 2
DÉJÀ VU 3 0 0 3 8-22 0
BAMBOO SHOOTS 0 0 0 0 0-0 0
*FORMERLY CALLED EERO
TOP 10 - DIVISION 1
NAME BAR SGL DBLS TON’S CLSS 180S PTS
STUART JJ 20 18 34 17 0 90
TAO CAT 15 12 22 11 0 60
DICKY JWB 15 15 15 14 0 59
SUPEE JWR 20 15 6 14 0 55
M JWR 20 12 6 12 0 50
TAO JWB 10 15 15 8 0 48
JIM DOA 15 9 10 11 0 46
GOLF PF 5 15 11 11 0 42
NOI CAT 5 9 17 9 0 40
ANNA JWR 5 15 10 9 0 39
IAN DOA 10 6 17 6 0 39
JASON CAT 10 12 8 9 0 39
TOP 6 - DIVISION 2
NAME BAR SGL DBLS TON’S CLSS 180S PTS
EERO E 15 18 5 13 1 52
BEN DOB 5 21 9 12 0 47
MICK MJ 15 12 6 9 0 42
BON DOB 10 15 5 11 0 41
HOWARD MJ 10 9 9 11 0 39
MARTIN LD 15 6 7 10 0 38
FIXTURES FOR JANUARY
WEEK 9 – 8TH JANUARY 2008
Division 1
Bamboo Grove v JW Black, Dicks Office A
V CAT, Pink Flamingo v Jungle Juice, JW
Red v Jaew
Division 2
Eero v Lazy Daze, Mojos Trio v Good
Friends, Déjà vu v Dicks Office B, Love Bar
v Bamboo Shoots
WEEK 10 – 15TH JANUARY 2008
Division 1
JW Red v Bamboo Grove, Jaew v Pink
Flamingo, Jungle Juice v Dicks Office A,
CAT v JW Black
Division 2
Love Bar v Eero, Bamboo Shoots v Déjà
vu, Dicks Office B v Mojos Trio, Good
Friends v Lazy Daze
WEEK 11 – 22ND JANUARY 2008
Cup Quarter Finals
WEEK 12 – 29TH JANUARY 2008
Division 1
Bamboo Grove v CAT, JW Black v Jungle
Juice, Dicks Office A v Jaew, Pink
Flamingo v JW Red
Division 2
Eero v Good Friends, Lazy Daze v Dicks
[
return to the top ]
