SPORTS
Hua Hin Hash House Harriers
H2H3 Sweet Anodyne So there we were some three kilometers south of an unspecified point on the Chomphol Road chomping at the bit and raring to go out on Run No. 116 of the Hua Hin Hash House Harriers. It was the murky afternoon of Saturday 16th February and the venue had been chosen and the trail newly laid by the Hares, the bedazzling Black Buttocks and Miserable Dave You Conductor. The forming-up point had been easily found by all and sundry without the usual last minute desperate ‘phone calls from straying souls seeking succour. By the time the Hares had spelled out the instructions and caveats, everything in the garden was rosy except that Ballbanger with his freshly tattooed arms had set out on a last minute mission to find the Holy Grail, or more accurately, a multiplicity
of Holy Grails to allow us to drink in a semi-civilised manner if we ever returned from the nether regions. Despairing of the likelihood of Ballbanger’s imminent return the acting George Michael exercised his draconian authority and said “Ballocks, we’ll start without him” and sent us all off to pollute the precincts with our
presence. Following the trail of flour and paper we staggered and reeled along trails and tracks in a very attractive Hashing area which was new to many of us. Just for a change the route was not excessively hilly, rocky, thorny, or wet, but led us through pastoral pathways in a pleasant and pleasurable procession. Proceedings did become tangled up from time to time because some imaginative trail-laying, including a profusion of false trails, had the Hashers coming and going without always knowing which they were supposed to be doing. All this doubling back fromfalse trails and finding the right trail at checkpoints had the desired effect of keeping the pack fairly compact and in touch with each other until the blessed break-off point was reached and the walkers parted company from MOST of the runners. For the walkers the rest of the trail took us through the glamorous campus of an Agricultural College where Old MacDonald, who is alleged to have had a farm of his own once, ignored the paper trail and made an exhaustive and
unashamed examination of the amenities. As the runners slogged along the lengthier route laid out for their benefit, the walkers coasted home to find that whereas they had finished before the legitimate runners, they had been beaten to the punch, or at least to the beer, by Hollow Legs. Obviously deputizing for the absent Mickey Mou who is the acknowledged champion Cha Am chanty-rassler when it comes to running and shortcutting the walkers’ trail to get back to the beer first, Hollow Legs had performed missing Mickey’s part for him but pleaded, in mitigation, ill health in the form of a morbid dread of dehydration. Within minutes the runners started finishing but with one very noticeable exception - the brightly coloured Ballbanger was not yet on site or in sight but all the precious drinking vessels were securely locked in his car. Fortunately the doughty and delightful Dragontail came to the rescue and produced a key to gain access to the plastic potties we all craved. Beer was now available and being consumed in copious quantities. Everyone was back and accounted for within a very
acceptable timescale. No lost souls and most short cutters did so inadvertently, with a few spectacular exceptions. The acting Gracious Mandarin called a circle
and poured paeans of praise on to the Hares for a well-laid and picturesque trail with no major hazards which all participants negotiated safely and in good time, and suggested that these particular Hares should be retained on a permanent basis to lay all future trails henceforth and forever more. Other Down- Downs followed, most notably that of a newcomer, Neville, who was frequently found to have drunk his beer too soon and so had to be Down-Downed again and again and again until someone shouted “You never got that much beer on a Cha Am Hash, Neville” To which Neville replied “There never is that much beer on a Cha Am Hash!” Eventually the ceremonials were successfully surmounted and the circle closed to allow a mass exodus to the Chicken Restaurant on the Phetkasem Road for the On-On. Mad Dogs And Welshmen
St. David’s Day saw the Hua Hin Hash House Harriers Run No 117 originate from the unmanned police post on the
left hand side of Soi 88 a few kilometreswest of Hua Hin. The Hares were Mudman and Scotch Tape and Mudman had sustained a vicious dog-bite to the ankle while laying the trail so in his prerun diatribe he dwelt on the dangers of downhill diagonals and discombobulated dogs along the way. At the appointed hour off we all trotted or tottered andwith only minor manipulation from Mudman found a paper trail leading back towards Hua Hin before swinging sharply to the right towards the outback. Ourtrail led us through the boulder-strewn precincts of a worked-out quarry down on to a scrubby plain with an extensive vista of a building site and then into the less than welcoming embrace of a prickly pathway leading upwards. This uphill slog soon allowed an appreciable gap to widen between the trotters and the totterers so by the time the latter group reached the brow of the hill the former group were no longer on the horizon and the checkpoint marking was ambiguous so an extensive search was launched for the continuation of the trail. Scotch Tape, the secondary Hare was singularly unhelpful (Lost Again?) but the day was saved by the lynx-eyed Miss Snickers who bellowed On On and led us over the crest of the ridge to the stunning panoply of one of the landmark lakes of Pedro’s Patch. Now we were on to the dodgy downhill and whereas last week’s Cha Am Hash produced only one significant faller and that not a regular Hasher, on this downhill debacle fallers proliferated a la Beecher’s Brook. Fortunately these were fairly tame tumbles and dignity incurred more injuries than physiology but one spectacular incident deserves a special mention. The unrevered, but exceedingly Venereal
Cannonballs, in an attempt to regulate his downhill hurtle, clutched at a substantial tree on the way past and levelled it to the ground with a single karate type chop of his less favoured hand. This was no rotting
clump of old bamboo but an erstwhile forest giant felled in its prime by the superior strength and bulk of a mightier entity. Suitably chastened by what we had witnessed we mere mortals arrayed ourselves behind the colossal Cannonballs and followed his steadfast strides along the streambed to open countryside. Meanwhile the runners had given lumber jacking a miss and werenegotiating the tall grass pathways so beloved by Ballbanger to reach Slackbladder’s favourite lily pond. From this lovely location the ever-vigilant Mudmanmanoeuvred them out of the way of shortcuts and through the pineapple fields around the bottom of the hill to rejoin the walkers on the way to the On In. We were spared a re-enactment of the Hound of the Baskervilles scenario as the miscreant mongrel was mercifully missing from its previous locale so we all got back with limbs aching but intact. As we watched a glorious sunset and did our best to deplete Hua Hin Hash’s liquid assets we were eventually ungraciously
interrupted by the Gland Manipulator calling us to the circle to dispense Down Downs. In recognition of St David’s Day the Welsh were invited into the circle
but Scotch Tape was disallowed despite his claim to be of Welsh extraction as he had his appendix out in Merthyr Tydfil! Piste Again, Butt Out, and Tom Jones demonstrated drinking Druid-style, mumbled a ragged rendering of “Land of My Fathers” in which the chorus “Wales, Wales” did indeed sound like wails, wails, completely eschewed “Men of Harlech” and exited to a mixed refrain of Cymru am Beth and Oggi, Oggi, Oggi. They were replaced by the singing Swedes who seem to be word perfect in every drinking song ever performed in Scandinavia. Canadian Robert B.C. was Down Downed as a virgin. Dairy Queen was Down Downed as a departer as she is off to Canada next month, despite her protests that she had a few more Hashes to attend before then. In the end she succumbed to Ballbanger’s exhortations to “just think of it as practice”. Black Buttocks was doubly Down Downed as both First Beauty Back and Front Running Belle. The beer was plenteous and gratefully partaken of by not all but sundry until Miserable Dave You Caterer called on Mudman to nominate the On On venue, which was The Mini Farm Kitchen near the railwaycrossing on Soi 88. This function was wellattended and Mudman was vigorously complimented and acclaimed for his choice as it proved universally popular with the Hashers and will no doubt be the scene of further invasions after future Hashes.
Hua Hin Darts League
Congratulations to JW Black for winning Division 1, and Jungle Juice for Runners Up position just beating CAT on point’s difference. Congratulations also to Lazy Daze on securing Runners Up position in Division 2.
Congratulations also to Johnnie Walker
Black on winning the cup, commiserations
to Dicks Office A – the result was JWB 8
DOA 2.
The top 16 individuals competition was
due to take place just as we were going
to press, so the results from that will
appear next month. Final League standings:
Division 1
Team P W D L PF -PA P oints
JW Black 14 11 1 2 95-45 23
Jungle Juice 14 9 3 2 93-47 21
CAT 14 9 3 2 87-53 21
Pink Flamingo 14 7 3 4 76-64 17
JW Red 14 7 0 7 68-72 14
Bamboo Grove 14 3 1 10 51-89 7
Dicks Office A 14 3 0 11 47-93 6
Jaew Bar 14 1 1 12 41-99 3
The Division 2 table has all Bamboo
Shoots results removed, as they did not
play all their games. There is one result
missing for Good Friends v Déjà vu, but it
will not affect the league standings.
Division 2
Team P W D L PF -PA P oints
Mojos Trio 12 11 0 1 85-35 22
Lazy Daze 12 7 3 2 75-45 17
Butterfly Rock 12 7 1 4 76-44 15
Dicks Office B 12 6 2 4 73-47 14
Good Friends 11 3 2 6 44-66 8
Love Bar 11 1 1 9 26-84 3
Déjà vu 10 0 1 9 20-80 1
Top 10 - Division 1
Name B ar Sgl D bls T on’s C lss 180s P ts
Stuart JJ 65 66 96 60 0 289
Tao JWB 50 51 70 41 0 213
Tao CAT 45 57 65 43 1 211
Dicky JWB 55 45 53 44 0 197
Noi CAT 55 48 55 37 0 195
Golf PF 40 48 59 44 2 194
Anna JWR 30 42 34 35 0 141
Peter JJ 40 30 33 36 0 139
Rune PF 40 48 14 36 0 138
M JWR 40 36 27 34 0 137
Top 6 - Division 2
Name B ar Sgl D bls T on’s C lss 180s P ts
Howard MJ 45 45 47 41 0 178
Martin LD 55 39 35 42 0 171
Mick MJ 50 51 31 37 0 169
Eero E 35 54 25 38 1 153
Ben DOB 35 46 22 31 0 134
Bon DOB 35 33 17 30 0 115
Pub Quiz
Thank you to all the participants who turned up to the quiz last month. Some great fun was to be had by those that experienced the feast of questions and awkward pictures. Now the Premiership season is coming to it’s climax and the F1 is just starting what better way to spend a Sunday than watching your favourites and then trying to undo the teasers set by the quizmasters. The other incentive is of course Dick’s roast dinners which are substantial enough for any hungry quizzer. So come down to Dick’s Office and see what the fuss is all about.
As usual a few of the questions that our victims had to negotiate: When talking about insects what does the word ptera mean? Which prison was Oscar Wilde incarcerated in? How many valves in the human heart? If you know the answers to these and think you can take on the quizmasters the we will see you at Dick’s Office on the 6th and 20th of this month.
TRIATHLON UPDATE
In our October 2007 issue we previewed the first Pranburi International Triathlon, and spoke to a Hua Hin expat, Geoff Beaulieu, who was going to compete in it. We caught up with Geoff again recently to find out what happened… Q: Welcome back, how was the Pranburi Triathlon? A: It was a really good event with over 100 competitors from all over the world. This was my first Sprint Triathlon and it was a fantastic experience, everything from the registration to the wellexecuted layout of the course, first class all the way. The event was hosted by the Evason Resort & Spa and organized by Exotissimo Travel. It’ll be an annual event; the next Triathlon will be on October 1st 2008, so anyone interested can find outmore at www.pranburitriathlon.com . Q: What were the most difficult challenges in this event? A: Definitely the ocean swimming. The waves were almost two meters high and it was too dangerous to go on. The swim distances were cut short for both the Olympic and Sprint competitors. Another difficulty was when I came out of the water and made the transition from swimming to biking; it took about on kilometre of riding before my legs didn’t feel like jello anymore.
Q: How did you place in the Sprint Category?
A: I placed 23rd out of 80 so I’m pleased
with my performance. Q: In our last conversation together you told us how you were doing the Sprint Triathlon in Pranburi to prepare for the Phuket Triathlon in December. Did it prepare you? A: I didn’t make it to Phuket; I was too late in registering, it was full. This is when
I decided to register early for The North Face River Kwai Trophy Cup Race, part of the Amazing Thailand Adventure Race Series that just took place on March 1st 2008 in Kanchanaburi. This is a yearly event and you can get more information about it at www.riverkwaitrophy.com . Q: What exactly is this race? A: It’s a challenging one-day race with combined disciplines of mountain biking, jungle running, swimming, kayaking and surprise obstacles. The race route travels along scenic trails and explores the mountains and farmlands of western Thailand. The next race in this adventure series will in Chiang Mai on May 18th 2008, so for anyone interested, go visit the dedicated site at www.event-2.active-asia. com to learn more and register.
Q: Was this race easier or more difficult then the triathlon? A: This was the most physically demanding race I have ever participated in and requires dedicated training and preparation. It was much more difficult and challenging then the triathlon but to complete an event like this is a wonderful feeling. You must compete in teams of two and it can take 4 to 8 hours to finish the
race. My partner for this race was Gaute Garsjoe, a local resident in Hua Hin from Norway. Together we completed the race in 5:59:11 and placed 15th out of 24 in the men’s category. Q: Did you train differently for this race than the triathlon? A: The training was similar but instead of speed we focused on endurance training.
We trained for 21/2 months for this event and realise now that one needs a minimum of 6-8 months of training unless you are already in excellent physical condition. I think the total distance for this race was 62km. Q: How should someone train for this83 type of race? A: A minimum of 3 times per week for 3 hours each session. You can mix it up because event organisers don’t give you the order or distances for each discipline. An example of how we would train is, bike 11/2 hours, run 1hr., swim 30 minutes. For the kayaking, we would go to Sam Roy Yod National Park once a week for two hours of paddling through the rivers of the limestone mountains. Q: How do you keep up your endurance for such a race? A. One piece of gear is vital for this type of race, a hydration pack. Basically it’s a narrow backpack that holds two litres of water in a plastic bag with an extension tube so you can continually drink water while on the go. It can also hold snacks like granola and chocolate bars to eat when you get to the water re-filling stations along the race course. As well, we have sachets of electrolyte powder to mix in with the water. During the race I drank 6 litres of water, 3 snicker and 4 granola bars. Q: What aspects of the race were the most demanding? A: The biking was the toughest simply because we had been racing for four hours when we began this discipline and it was a lot of uphill. We had to get off our bikes a couple of times because some of the hills were very steep. The swim was
also tough because we had to wear all our gear (backpack, shoes, helmet) as we swam across the River Kwai. Q: What motivates you to continue to do these races? A: When you enter an event like this and finish the race, the feeling of accomplishment is tremendous. It transfers into your daily life in the sense that you need to be flexible, cooperate with others, follow through and do the best you can with daily challenges and produce results. I also think it’s a lifestyle choice, a fun way to explore Thailand and to share my passion for adventure with other like minded people at these events. Q: Where should people look to find out more about these events in Thailand?A: Not all events are as extreme as the ones we just talked about. I suggest the following sites to get information for other adventure activities in Thailand.
www.bangkokbikehash.com - www.active-asia.com - www.exotissimo.com -
www.spiceroads.como? Is it OK mashed, but a no go area when turned into chips? And what about the end product of cocoa beans - or is that being a little too optimistic?
CURRENT DREAM TEAM
TM L M Team Total
1 NEW Nerazzurri64 1679
2 1 The Masters 1639
3 2 Mr ChaAming 1622
4 3 Bamboo Grove 1588
5 5 CargonApinat 1571
6 4 Gusto Creative 1553
7 6 Nightwatch FC 1544
8 10 Simply Red 1505
9 8 Chalees Thaitan Army 1498
10 7 Wanderlust United 1490
11 9 Z ephyr Valley 1476
12 11 FC KP.fi 1464
13 13 Ligibo FC 1409
14 12 Eazelocool 1376
15 14 Finlanders 1301
16 15 LoNneY 1199
17 16 AhmaSoft FC 819
18 17 MaNcHeStEr UniTeD 282
19 18 CirCle And SqUarE 258
CURENT DREAM TEAM
James P ortsmouth 135
Lescott E verton 165
Laursen As ton Villa 144
Ferdinand M anUnited 139
Ronaldo M anUnited 197
Gerrald L iverpool 175
Fabregas A rsenal 167
bentley blackburn 133
Adebayor A rsenal 164
torres liverpool 158
Berbatov T ottenham 143
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