SPORTS
Hua Hin Hash House Harriers
Run 118 CAVE IDUS MARTIUS
In his invitation to participate in Hua Hin Hash House Harriers’ Run No. 118 on 15th March, the noble Ballbanger, for Ballbanger is an honourable man, so are all Hashers, all honourable men, translated the above expression as “Beware the Ides of March” and not as the less correct but more imaginative “Watch out for the hideous Martians”. Despite Ballbanger’s soothsaying prognostications and his dicey directions H2H3 did manage to congregate in an area of Hua Hin out past Tippewans 4 and 5 to indulge in an orgy of self-abuse supervised by the Hares, Space Cowboy and The Mingster. Space Cowboy informed us that we were embarking on a MEDIUM trail which we foolishly took to mean not too long, not too short, not too tough, not too tame, when what it really meant was that we would need a spirit guide to find it in places. Everyone set off at the later time of 5 p.m. in the best of good moods engendered by Ballbanger’s welcoming and welcome announcement that today would be a free run so it was incumbent upon all participants to get back as quickly as possible to maximise the beer intake.
It was a thoughtfully-laid trail leading through and over fairly undemanding but pleasant terrain for a while but long before such proceedings began to cloy or become boring the situation altered. Here we hit the stony ground that led uphill but not down dale for a considerable distance, so we scrambled across a rocky scree-covered slope alleviated only in places by major boulders that provided a more stable footing. Down eventually and eventfully over the rocks and scree and a few strands of barbed wire and the Hashers were able to attain a flatter foundation for their feet for a few minutes. Then it was into a quarry-like area where we had to cope with and traverse water-created gullies in a stagger down one side and back up the other side of the master ravine. Someone had chalked on a boulder “ON ON” but had omitted to separate the two words with the conjunction AND because this trail was indisputably going on and on and on and in the circumstances what could we do but follow it?
The trail now led us through a series of leafy glades that seemed to prevail forever, and this part of the trail was probably picked particularly by Space Cowboy because of his predilection for long forever glades!! Runners and Walkers now went their own ways and it appeared that the Runners took the paper with them as the Walkers’ trail became very sparsely marked, so that the leading bunch of Walkers led by Long Ron, Melonmasher and Tom Jones, performed a substantial circular subsidiary trail before returning to rediscover the way, the truth, and the right. A muted mingling of the leading Walkers with the lagging Runners heralded the ON IN and soon, but not soon enough, the end of the trail was reached and the start of the beer was reached for. The indefatigable Mingster, having completed the course, now went back out to ensure that the finalists were en route and on schedule to arrive in good time as, due to our later start, eventide was beginning to hush.
Ballbanger, standing in for the missing, presumed absent, Gold Medallist, did the DownDowns starting with Space Cowboy and The Mingster as Virgin Hares. He then subjected us to less bulls**t than usual because of the advancing dark and let us all loose to look for 3 girls at the On On On venue. The 3 Girls proved to be a spectacular eye opener. It is a really extensive establishment incorporating a swimming pool, an elaborate stage with live music, and an impressive gentlemen’s facility sporting a picture of a lovely girl but no indication as to which one of the 3 she is. Ballbanger wanted to finish as he started, in Latin so :-
Caesar et sum iam forte
Brutus et erat
Caesar sic in omnibus
Brutus sic in at
Run 119 IN THE REALM OF THE GOLDEN BUDDHA
There’s a great big Golden Buddha to the north of Wat Bo Fai
Where the happy Hashers gather in good cheer
Some will walk it, some will run it, some will shortcut by and by
‘Cos the first ones back get all the bleedin’ beer
With acknowledgment and apologies to J. Milton Hayes
From all this poetic licentiousness you will not be surprised to be informed that the venue for Run 119 of the Hua Hin Hash House Harriers was in the vicinity of the Golden Buddha statue near Wat Bo Fai and on the afternoon of 29 March H2H3 assembled there. A commendable number of Hashers put in an appearance and almost 40 active participants ventured out into the unknown after listening to an absolute catalogue of misinformation from the Hares - Terry Callan and Butt Out. Runners and Walkers kept approximate company at the start as we embarked on our odyssey through and past a diversity of Buddhist religious monuments. Unfortunately we had no accompanying expert to point out to us Wat was Wat or to indicate Stupas to the stupid so we shambled on in ignorance, admiring the architecture but missing the significance. So we proceeded in our uninformed state past these variegated religious structures until the Walkers were able to peel off delightedly to the right while the Runners disappeared through a curtain of greenery to confront an uphill ascent of some severity.
The territory we traversed on this trail was picturesque in the extreme. In addition to the Buddhist reliquaries we also encountered exquisitely ornamented Mausoleums in the Chinese style and a series of serene and placid ponds amidst settings of flowering blossoms in a profusion of exotic colours. We also came across a particularly eye-catching edifice in the shape of an idol with an inordinate number of arms that defied explanation, although it was suggested that it might be a depiction of the God of Goalkeepers. Melonmasher said it was a very handy landmark. There were false trails to be contended with and this we did successfully most of the time, feeling relaxed and comfortable at having to break checkpoints, which was an indication that the Runners had not yet passed by. One particularly diabolical false trail had everyone going in circles until our latest Thai Virgin Hasher demonstrated her potential for future Hash greatness by asking a local lad which way to go. This information led us along a very narrow and convoluted cow trail that it would have taken us a long time to venture on to without inside information. These diversions served their purpose and ensured that the majority of the Walkers arrived back in a bunch led by Ball Point and Pinkie, who both showed a late burst of speed to get back in front of the others.
Imagine our consternation and dismay to arrive back to find an SS rally in progress! This was no latter-day Seig Heils in the Sunset scenario but the much more sinister setting of the Shameless Shortcutters of H2H3’s Runners, who had decided to settle for half a run. Eyedroppers were produced to allocate minimal amounts of beer to the intrepid Walkers and a circle had to be hastily convened before drought conditions became totally prevalent. Ballbanger once again deputised for the absent Guest Member (who may need his title changed to Gone Missing) Miserable Dave Yon Cyclist who was off on his bike. Mercifully some of the DownDowns were performed with beverages other than beer so we were able to stay on almost as long as Leo. CannonBalls and Piste Again along with Joan and John Inman reported on the riotous rituals of the Perth InterHash and invited us to Kuching in Borneo for the 2010 InterHash. Joan and John’s parole is about to expire so they are having to return to confinement next week so we wished them Bon Voyage or Goodbye and B***er You as the case may be. Ballbanger did his most important job of the day and announced the location of the OnOnOn as Burger3 on the klong road and a motley band of Hashers descended on that establishment to be fed and liquefied.
Scotch Tape
Hua Hin Darts League
The new Hua Hin Darts League started in April, but unfortunately announced after last month’s deadline, so apologies to our readers who depend on the Observer for the fixture list! Also shown here this month are the final report and results of the last season’s individuals’ competition from the organisers.
“Tuesday saw the Top 16 battle to find the overall champion. We saw some great darts in the preliminary rounds with the following 8 getting through to the finals:
Tao (CAT)
Noi (CAT)
Jim (Dicks Office A)
Stuart (Jungle Juice)
Tao (JW Black)
Dicky (JW Black)
Anna (JW Red)
Golf (Pink Flamingo)
The highlight of these games being Stuart beating Tao (CAT) 2-0, both games taking just 20 darts.
The semi finals were:
Tao (JW Black) beat Anna (JW Red)
Staurt (Jungle Juice) beat Golf (Pink Flamingo)
Tao managed a maximum 180 in a very good match, whilst Stuart just missed a maximum 170 finish. The final saw Stuart triumph over Tao, again excellent darts from both players.
So congratulations to Stuart who has been the Top 16 Champion for 2 seasons running.
A presentation was made for the following awards: Mugs donated by our sponsor San Miguel to the Top 16 Semi-finalists plus all other trophy winners.
Division 1
Winner - JW Black
Runner up - Jungle Juice
Division 2
Winner - Mojos
Runner up – Lazy Daze
Cup
Winner - JW Black
Runner up – Dicks Office A
Thank you to everyone for turning up and supporting, making for a great atmosphere and a fitting end to this season’s darts.”
Current League Standings:
Division 1
Team P W D L PF-PA Pts
CAT 2 2 0 0 17-3 4
JW Black 2 2 0 0 16-4 4
Pink Flamingo 1 1 0 0 6-4 2
Jungle Juice 2 1 0 1 11-9 2
JW Red 2 1 0 1 10-10 2
Mojo 1 0 0 1 1-9 0
Dicks Office A 2 0 0 2 3-17 0
Division 2
Team P W D L PF-PA Pts
Jaew 2 2 0 0 18-2 4
Bamboo Grove 2 1 1 0 14-6 3
Oasis 2 1 0 1 12-8 2
Butterfly Rock 1 1 0 0 8-2 2
Dicks Office B 1 1 0 0 6-4 2
Headrock 2 0 1 1 7-13 1
Good Friends 2 0 0 2 3-17 0
Love Bar 2 0 0 2 2-18 0
Fixtures for May
Week 6 – 6th May 2008
Division 1
Jungle Juice v Dicks Office A
Mojo v CAT
JW Red v JW Black
Pink Flamingo v Lazy Daze
Division 2
Dicks Office B v Love Bar
Headrock v Good Friends
Jaew v Oasis
Butterfly Rock v Bamboo Grove
Week 7 – 13th May 2008
Division 1
Dicks Office A v CAT
JW Black v Mojo
Lazy Daze v JW Red
Jungle Juice v Pink Flamingo
Division 2
Butterfly Rock v Jaew
Headrock v Oasis
Love Bar v Good Friends
Bamboo Grove v Dicks Office B
Week 8 – 20th May 2008
Division 1
Mojo v Lazy Daze
JW Red v Jungle Juice
Pink Flamingo v Dicks Office A
CAT v JW Black
Division 2
Bamboo Grove v Good Friends
Love Bar v Headrock
Dicks Office B v Jaew
Oasis v Butterfly Rock
Week 9 – 27th May 2008
Division 1
Dicks Office A v JW Black
CAT v Lazy Daze
Mojo v Jungle Juice
JW Red v Pink Flamingo
Division 2
Headrock v Butterfly Rock
Jaew v Good Friends
Oasis v Dicks Office B
Bamboo Grove v Love Bar
SO......WHO IS RAY?
Briton, Rayfel Roseman is a former world class international athlete, now aged 69 and resident in Bangkok. Ray is a testament to his own advice, standing 1.84 metres tall and weighing just 64 kilogrammes. In 1969 Ray became the oldest Briton till then to run a sub four-minute mile at 30 years and 2 months of age; and he ran it on a cinder track which does not exist anymore (the famous Motspur Park in Surrey where Blackheath solicitor Sydney Wooderson set world records in the 1930’s). Roseman bettered the Olympic Qualifying standard for 1500 metres in 1964 and 1968; and raced alongside such luminaries as Gordon Pirie, Derek Ibbotson and Peter Snell of New Zealand (who won three Olympic gold medals at Rome in 1960 and Tokyo in 1964). A severe tendon injury forced Ray out of competitive athletics in 1970 as he was preparing for the Commonwealth Games in Edinburgh that year. Roseman runs on a treadmill for 45 minutes every day, and regularly monitors his blood pressure and heart rate. Once a month, he may take part in a 10 kilometres road race, but does not consider himself to be competitive any longer. (“My racing days are long over”, he says). Ray states that “Exercise alone is not going to get those kilos off. If you want to lose weight, you have to combine an exercise regime with a healthy diet, and I would recommend the following: Breakfast – Cereal or porridge, followed by one egg (boiled, scrambled or poached), plus an apple or orange three times per week.
Lunch – If you eat rice or potatoes, reduce your portions by half. Eat lean meat such as chicken or fish at least three times per week. Evening meal (dinner) – Eat a salad with vegetables and perhaps some brown bread. Cut out sugar-based foods such as ice cream, chocolates or sweets and keep away from all soft drinks.
I have found that Thai food contains a lot sugar (even in rice) and therefore I would recommend eating Japanese food, which is extremely healthy. “If you can cut sugar out of your daily diet, you will certainly lose weight rapidly. That includes sweeteners in your tea or coffee. If you are a ‘two lumps’ person, cut down to one lump for each drink, and aim to eventually take you tannin or caffeine fixes without a sweetener.
“With this diet plus regular exercise I found that I could lose 8 kilos in 8 weeks. For exercise, start easily by walking at a pace you can handle for 10 minutes per day, gradually increasing this to 15, then 20 and 30 minutes every day, and increase the pace of the walks as you get fitter. Instead of lounging by the swimming pool, get in the water and swim slowly up and down for 20 minutes or so. For those of you who cannot swim, get on an exercise bike and work out: start at a very easy pace, keep that going for a while and then get faster as you feel stronger. Check you pulse after every session. Put a finger over a vein just above your wrist, count the beats for ten seconds, then multiply the number of beats by six (for 60 seconds). As you get fitter, your heart rate will return to normal (60 beats per minute) quickly. If your pulse rate is still at around 120 beats/minute after 30 seconds, you are working too hard, and this is nature’s warning to stop. “Also take plenty of fluids when you exercise. Top up with cold drinking water before and after working out. Alcohol dehydrates the body very rapidly, so it is important to replace those lost fluids before exercising. I would recommend that drinkers cut down on their alcohol consumption to say, once or twice a week if possible. “I repeat: exercise alone will not lose weight for the over forties. If you have not exercised for years, it is very important to first get a check-up from your doctor, including blood pressure, and then devise a regular exercise regime. But always start slowly, taking on only what you can handle without too much stress. Gently does it, every time. “More tips on diet and fitness next month.”
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